We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 1094.

G.N. 3912, certificate number 4 4390.

Sadie Hawkins Day. Little Lattner, we has both learned.

Still don't know how money gets earned.

His heart is the tenderest.

But noiter gender is far as young girls is concerned.

Ah, gets pretty tired of running from Daisy May.

Which needs us to say it's a typical day.

We go fast you. No, we don't know. We don't ask you and pay.

No, we don't know what order the far future post-humans are listening to these

entries in. Are you saying they're not listening? Maybe they not listening in numerical orders? Sure. Yeah. Like maybe

Sadie Hawkins comes right after sack lunches and Sabbath comma black for them.

Right. Right.

Right.

Don't, uh, foreshadow any of the shows I'm going to do.

...