You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

This week, in honor of their 40th wedding anniversary, Dan and his wife Becky reflect together

on the last four decades of learning and growing as individuals and as a couple. Since part of

honoring the Sabbath means marking the passage of time and celebrating significant milestones,

Dan and Becky invite us to consider how we engage the past, present, and future with intentionality

and care.

Well, I've often wondered when I've listened to couples who have been married for 20, 40, 60 years,

what value is it to hear from them as to what they have learned over those years?

Now that we are near, very near, days near, our 40th anniversary, I actually think it's important to underline that life can be named in a series of long tombs reflective of life or in a few thoughts that give some credence to the fact that there is a clarity about how to live. And so I've asked my wife to join me and to celebrate and to

say, well, I'm grateful for you, my love, that you have endured well 40 years of life with at least a somewhat difficult man.

So happy anniversary, Becky.

Thank you, Dan.

Happy anniversary to you.

And I would like to ask you, what have you learned over these 40 years?

Well, one of the things I have learned is to not blame you.

I love that.

Because a lot of times, that's what I do.

And that's an easy thing to do.

And it's that easy thing to do.

And it's that whole Matthew 7, look at the log in your own eye and before you look at the spec in the others.

Well, the fact is, yes, it's easy because that's part of the dimension of human nature.

We always find a means to excuse ourselves. We always find the other to some degree at fault. Literally, that's what social

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