Welcome, friends. Hope y'all enjoyed the holiday without me. See, every day is Independence Day out here.

Only I'm afraid to light off fireworks because of all the gas, half of which I'm convinced is made up of Chester's farts.

Yeah, real convenient to blame it on the

swamp gas, Chester. I see the bubbles. Nice try. That's what happens when you steal all my

Twinkies. Anyway, let's head inside y'all. There's a little fresher in there.

Hmm. Oh. is a little fresher in there.

Mm. All right.

You know what else is a breath of fresh air?

You guessed it.

Simplyscarypodcast.com.

You can become a patron there and listen to thousands of scary stories, no ads or anything. Just click on the patron button and follow the instruction.

And if that's not enough patronage for you, check out patreon.com forward slash drew blood.

Help your pals stock up on Twinkies.

All right, y'all.

Smoke them if you got them and drink those glasses to the bottom, because

your old buddy Drew Blood has a tell to tell. And tonight it comes courtesy of Cessley

1987. In it, we join an emergency dispatcher whose lines get crossed somewhere beyond the

veil. So without further delay from author Cessley

1987, I give you within a gloomy wood.

911. 911. What's the location of your emergency?

I'm hurt.

Where are you calling from, sir?

...