Divali's almost here and at Morrisons we've got all the essentials ready to help you prepare.

Like Salam Basmati rice, 10 kilos was 19 pounds, now just 11.

Or KTC sunflower oil.

5 litres was 875, now 6.50.

There's elephant at a medium chapati flour 10 kilos, was 1250, now only 7 pounds.

And East End Pure Buttergee 1 kilo was £12.50,

now just £11.

From all of us at Morrisons,

happy DiVali and banditour d'Ivas.

Morisons to shop at Morrison's.

Selected stores online varies

excludes Morrisons daily. Welcome back, friends. Perfect day for the show. It's National Helen Keller Day.

So instead of reading you a story tonight, I'm going to do the right thing and just sit here in silence.

What do you think? It's only right, I suppose.

What do you mean offensive, Chester? I'm just trying to get a knot off over here.

Damn, this new generation is so sensitive. Well, come on in. Guess I'll tell you a story after all.

Wouldn't want to ruffle any feathers. Hmm. Now that's better. Hey, you know who wouldn't want to ruffle any feathers. Hmm.

Oh, that's better.

Hey, you know who wouldn't have had any use for simplyscarypodcast.com?

Good old Helen.

But you're going to love it.

You can sign up as a patron there and get their entire catalog dating back to 2012,

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