S6, Ep 1 Best Friend Therapy: Toxic Positivity - What are good vibes? Is there always a bright side? How can positivity help and hinder us?
Friendship Therapy
Emma Reed Turrell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 9 October 2023
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In fact we're feeling so damn positive about life right now, we thought we'd kick off with a conversation about whether positivity can ever be negative... or even toxic?
There’s nothing wrong with looking on the bright side of life, or tackling challenges with optimism and a positive mental attitude. But we wonder whether there is a role for taking our time to get there in certain situations, to feel heard first (by ourselves and others) and to feel validated in the truth of what is, even when it’s not as we would wish. And whether we can trip ourselves up with the pressures to be positive and feel like we’re failing, when really what we’re acknowledging is the complicated, nuanced, conflicted reality of life. To quote our very own Elizabeth Day, “life is texture” and striving to be overly positive, at the cost of authenticity, can make us more fearful of the darker feelings that are an inevitable part of the human condition.
Elizabeth introduces us to the view of Zadie Smith that tells us our pain can run in parallel to others’ experiences and Emma questions whether this season of Married at First Sight sees its participants setting themselves up to fail with their "good vibes only". Never let it be said that we don’t draw on a diverse range of sources in our research for BFT.
We hope our conversation puts a smile on your face but, if it doesn't, cheer up, it might never happen!
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Elizabeth quotes Zadie Smith's "Intimations": https://www.waterstones.com/book/intimations/zadie-smith/9780241492383
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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.
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Social Media:
Elizabeth Day @elizabday
Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to Best Friend Therapy. I'm Elizabeth Day, author and |
| 0:05.8 | podcaster and for over 20 years I've been best friends with a therapist. |
| 0:10.5 | That's me. Hello, I'm Emma Reed-Tarell and I'm a psychotherapist. In my private |
| 0:15.2 | practice I talked to clients about the challenges they face in daily life and |
| 0:18.5 | we work together in a non-judgmental supportive space to increase their |
| 0:22.0 | sense of well-being. And as her BFF I get all the benefit of her expertise and |
| 0:27.0 | wisdom for free. Emma makes me feel better about life but also helps me to |
| 0:31.8 | understand why I act the way I do. Ah, thanks Liz. She's also one of the only |
| 0:37.2 | people allowed to call me Liz. We wanted to open the doors to our friendship and |
| 0:41.8 | throw a light on the therapy we all need in our everyday lives. Each week we |
| 0:46.5 | chat about what's on our minds to get deeper in our minds. Two best friends, one |
| 0:51.7 | therapist no filter. That's Best Friend Therapy. Hello everyone it is Best |
| 0:59.9 | Friend Therapy back in your ears. Emma and I have just been having the most |
| 1:05.2 | hilarious chat and I said we've got to record this because you were telling me |
| 1:11.0 | about the oiliest massage you have ever experienced. So tell us what happened |
| 1:16.8 | Emma, open up this is a safe space. Okay great are we even going to say what this |
| 1:21.0 | episode's about because I was going to segue off. Why are we talking about this? |
| 1:25.7 | So tell us episodes about toxic positivity. Now we've got that out the way. One |
| 1:29.7 | of the things that I could bring this toxic positivity to would be to tell you |
| 1:32.7 | about a massage I've had that was really healing and really relaxing and |
| 1:36.4 | really restorative and I could try and paint that picture for you but the |
| 1:40.2 | reality would actually be that it really was the oiliest massage I've ever had in |
... |
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