And welcome to this week's episode of Never Thought I'd Say This. I'm your host,

Jody Sweeten.

I'm your other host, Celia Bayer.

I feel bad like this whole season. I introduced myself first.

You always do. Who cares? Like what?

I don't know. It's just my anxiety decided to come in today and be like you're an asshole.

So anyway, I feel like I'm going to win the asshole award today, but you know,

oh, are we giving out asshole awards? I mean, it is the penultimate episode this week.

It's pretty good, which is, which is not just a reference to penises, but it is a very fancy

way of saying that this is the second to the last episode of the season, which I can't believe.

Like that's why I was like, the whole season you've done this, you asshole.

You guys, I have an asshole story for not about my own asshole or anyone else's, but you know,

I have a story that makes me a big asshole and you don't know how hard it has been for me to not

text you both to tell you it or how hard it was for me when it happened to not be like,

hang on one second and then text you guys because I had to keep my shit together.

So first off, let me just say that today is my anniversary with Dustin.

We've been together for three years.

Holy shit, look at you.

Yeah, you feral cat.

Nobody knows what happens, especially the two of us.

For all happy anniversary.

I'm wearing my love shirt in honor of it because I'm not going to even see him.

...