Happy Birthday to Madame! Happy Birthday to you!

Ah, darling, you are so lovely to think of me. What's this?

Open it!

Oh, you've had my least favorite demon stuff. It's perfect. I hated that file a little turd.

Ah, you can hear you, Madame. He's still alive. They're so hard to kill, you know.

Ah, does he have a guest's eyeball in his mouth?

You're not just any old guest, a patron. Er, er, er, er, er, nothing.

Oh, how thoughtful.

Only the best for you, Madame.

Welcome to the Midnight Library, my dear guests. Won't you come in, please?

Mr. Darling has both of our fireplaces positively roaring tonight to take the chill out of the reading room.

What's he burning in them? Just a regular wood, like regular humans do.

The smell. Oh, um, that's some herbs left over from the kitchen.

The kitchen. That's why the smoke is red, probably.

I am your heavenly host. Stop giggling, please.

Miranda Merrick.

Oh, and before I forget, there's Midnight Tea and a harmless little treat amusingly called Demon Cake on the hospitality tray

that some of you will undoubtedly have a curious fondness for.

And yes, we'll provide the recipe for it as closely as we can replicate it for you.

When you've received your invitation via our delivery crows with tonight's topic written in Mr. Darling's distinctive script,

I knew this particular subject would draw a unique sort of person. And here you are.

I also knew that this subject would cause certain other types of people to opt out,

...