This episode contains discussion around suicide and eating disorders.

This is a Global Player Original podcast.

I had years of just thoughts, just passing thoughts.

I don't want to wake up anymore.

You know, I'd pray every night that I wouldn't wake up in the morning.

It was a lot of things.

It was struggling at school, feeling different. Just everything about life seemed really overwhelming.

Welcome to Big Fish with me, Spencer Matthews. Each week I speak to inspirational people

about how they reach the top of their game and their mindset for success.

Christine McGuinness is a television personality and former beauty queen.

She's also become an influential advocate for autism awareness.

A few years ago, her three children were all diagnosed with autism and shortly after,

Christine discovered she was autistic herself,

being diagnosed at the very late age of 33 years old. She has made two powerful documentaries

for the BBC to raise awareness, which has touched the lives of millions of people across the UK.

In this episode, we talk about how Christine's autism hugely impacted her childhood. There were times where she felt suicidal and sensory issues around food resulted in an eating disorder.

We also talk about her relationship with her father, who has recently beaten a 40-year-long heroin addiction.

Christine was an absolute delight to have on the show. She was incredibly honest.

I hope that you take as much out of the

episode as I did. Christine McGuinness. Thank you for joining me on Big Fish. You're welcome. I'm

happy to be here. How does it feel to have made it into the studio? I'm okay. Do you know what? I've

done a lot of podcasts, but this is the one that I've been the most excited and nervous about.

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