There are moments in life that test our character and require dignity in the most compromising

conditions.

This season you'll either be pleased or upset to know that we're going to encounter quite

a few fecal non-crime crimes.

And while it's tempting to ridicule the perpetrator, our journey so far has revealed a humbling truth.

Anyone can become the perpetrator.

Yes, anyone.

Your mother, your partner, your baby, your assistant detective, your best friend, your brother-in-law, even you.

Because sometimes the body has a mind of its own.

Maybe you've over-indulged in wedding beans.

Or maybe you've had one too many delicious beverages like Run Charter.

Maybe you're wearing braces and you can't get them off fast enough.

Or maybe you just need to go.

Whatever the culprit, the question remains. What is the correct

etiquette when facing a digestive dilemma at a formal event? Today we seek answers from someone

who might never have expected to be pulled into such a discussion. Britain's leading etiquette coach, William Hanson.

William advises people and organisations on the finer points of form, decorum and social grace.

You're probably holding your teacup incorrectly.

You might think it's posh to stick your little finger out, your pinky, as some people call it,

but for a variety of reasons, this is not correct. Stick the finger in, thank you.

How to greet the king and queen. If you identify as male, you bow from the neck. Like so,

you don't need to bend from the waist like you do in Japan or at the end of a stage show.

...