This story begins in Amsterdam, on Saturday the 20th of April,

2024, the day before my birthday.

I didn't know it yet, but I was about to become a victim.

I'm at home, alone.

Everything is normal until the doorbell rings. I open the door.

A delivery driver stands there holding a big, heavy box.

No message and no note.

I carry it inside, unaware that I am holding Exhibit A in my hands.

The next morning it's my birthday. I'm excited to tuck in my hands. The next morning, it's my birthday.

I'm excited to tuck into my gifts.

I peel back the tape on the box and release the cardboard flaps.

I'm expecting something thoughtful, heartfelt and expensive.

What I find inside that box is the opposite of all of those things, except maybe expensive. What I find inside that box is the opposite of all of those things, except maybe expensive.

It was a five-liter industrial tub of Hellman's mayonnaise. To a lot of people, that would be a useful,

delicious and possibly funny present.

But not to me.

An unknown person had chosen the one substance I cannot stand,

and sent it directly into my home where I sleep.

Eleven days later, on May 1st, a second package arrives, bigger and heavier.

This time it was a 10-liter bucket of Lavo mayonnaise, a cheaper brand.

I felt watched.

Four months passed and I moved on with my life.

...