S2E378 Rules for Resilience - a Conversation with Valorie Burton

The Brian Buffini Show

Brian Buffini

Entrepreneur, Brian Buffini, Business, Entrepreneurship, Coaching, Good, Life

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2026

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Brian sits down with life coach and motivational speaker Valorie Burton to talk about what it really takes to endure pressure — and come out wiser and stronger on the other side. Valorie breaks resilience down into a learnable, diagnosable system: adaptive skills (what’s happening inside you), protective resources (what you can draw on), and preventive measures (the proactive choices that reduce future stress).

In the second part of the podcast, Anna Buffini, Buffini & Company’s Social Media Manager, (and Brian’s daughter) asks Valorie questions previously submitted by Buffini clients about the challenges they’re currently facing.

YOU WILL LEARN:

How to build a resilience system with adaptive skills, protective resources, and preventive measures.
A simple process to interrupt rumination and replace unhelpful thoughts with strengthening ones.
How to discern when to grit and when to quit — the difference between “hard” and “burdensome.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Brian Buffini Show
Rules of Resilience: 10 Ways Successful People Get Better, Wiser, and Stronger, by Valorie Burton

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:

“We also need resilience when the opportunity is in front of us...it’s also necessary for success.” — Valorie Burton

“What a system also does is it helps you diagnose — where you could strengthen elements of your system that would lift you to the level where you need to be.” — Valorie Burton

“The most important adaptive skill to have is thought awareness.” — Valorie Burton

“When you start saying different things to yourself, it results in different choices and different actions.” — Valorie Burton

“Coach yourself with that question — “What am I saying?’ Write it down. Write down the most persistent thought.” — Valorie Burton

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to It's a Good Life, the podcast for entrepreneurs, where it's all about growing yourself and your business.
0:09.6	Here's your host, founder of America's largest business coaching company, Brian Bafini.
0:17.2	Well, the top of the morning to you and welcome to It's a Good Life. I'm Brian Bafini, your host.
0:22.2	And we have a guest for you today that I think is the perfect person at the perfect time.
0:27.1	Her name is Valerie Burton. And she's been studying and teaching on the topic of resilience for over two decades.
0:35.3	And with everything that's been going on in the market in the last special three years that's been going on, I just feel like I've talked to so many people who they've been beat up, their cash reserves are lower. And even though the market's starting to turn and there's life in the market, they're thinking, oh, should I get a job? Should I give up my career? Should I do this? Should I sell my
0:55.0	brokerage? All that kind of good stuff. And I just think right now, this message is the perfect
1:00.2	time. If you feel a little beat up and you've had thoughts about, you know, giving up, this is the
1:06.9	conversation for you. We all know that encountering adversity isn't an if, but it's a when. And today, the goal is to equip you with practical how-toes and a guide to getting better, wiser, and stronger when life doesn't go according to plan. And so we'll be pulling insights from her brand new book. And I love this book. It's not just a great picture of her, but I love the coloring the book. And of course, an Irishman loves this green. It's like,
1:30.6	it's why I have the Brian Buffini show right there with my cup. Valerie Burton, it's great to have you on as a guest. We really appreciate you making the time for us. Oh, Brian, it's such an honor to get to talk to you today. Well, you know, I find as a person who's
1:45.2	natural bent is to teach and instruct, it's very rewarding to teach people when they're really
1:50.5	open to hear and listen. And right now, the message you have, our audience is eyes wide open,
1:56.2	ears wide open. I would imagine they're going to listen to this many times over. Maybe you give us a little bit
2:02.0	just for the audience that don't know, you give a little bit of your background and how you ended up here
2:05.8	today. Well, this book around Rules of Resilience for me is a culmination of a long journey of
2:12.6	work. It's not just the professional side, which is around positive psychology, the study of what happens
2:18.4	when things go right with us. But it's also my own personal journey. And so, gosh, probably
2:25.5	16 or so years ago, 17 years ago, I had the opportunity to finish up grad school in
2:31.4	positive psychology. I've been coaching for some time at that point,
2:34.8	but I had the opportunity to start teaching resilience in a military setting.
2:40.0	Military was really realizing that, you know, physical fitness, military fitness was important,
2:45.0	but even more important is mental fitness. How do you deal with challenges as they come?
	...

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