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Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

S21E2: The Compatibility Myth w/ Eli Finkel

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7910 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How do you choose a partner that's a good match for you? We're joined with Eli Finkel, social psychologist and the Director of the Relationship & Motivation Lab at Northwestern University to debunk what matters and what doesn't when it comes to compatibility in relationships. We're discussing why initial shared interests and similar personalities might not be the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction, the importance of the Michelangelo Effect, and how compatibility can be built even in the early stages of dating. Learn more about Eli Finkel and check out his podcast 'Love Factually" with Paul Eastwick and his book 'The All Or Nothing Marriage": https://elifinkel.com/ Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/ HOW TO BE DATEABLE IS OUT! Order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE Our Sponsors: * Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE * Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0

There are so many things to stress about when it comes to international travel. And with my upcoming

0:04.4

Europe trip, you know what I'm not stressing about? Finding Wi-Fi or getting scammed on overpriced

0:09.7

SIM cards. I'm using Saly, the ESIM app that keeps you connected in over 200 countries without

0:15.8

the airport hassle or those ridiculous roaming fees. It's made by the folks behind NordVPN. So privacy and security

0:22.8

covered. You install Saly once, pick a plan, and you're good to go, whether you're hopping

0:27.5

countries or just need solid data from the moment you land. And bonus, Saly has a built-in ad

0:32.9

blocker that can save you up to 28% on mobile data. That's more scrolling and less wasting data.

0:39.6

So if you're traveling soon, do this now.

0:41.7

Download the Sayley app in your app store and use the code datable at checkout for 15%

0:47.2

off your first data plan.

0:48.9

That's D-A-T-E-A-B-L-E for 15% off.

0:52.7

Stay connected, stay smart, get Sayley. Hi, I'm U-E-S-U-E for 15% off. Stay connected, stay smart, get Saly.

0:56.1

Hi, I'm U-E-S-U.

0:57.5

And I'm Julie Craft-Chic.

0:59.1

We're active daters turned dating insiders.

1:01.6

Here to dive into everything, modern dating, and relationships.

1:05.3

Welcome to Datable.

1:15.1

Hello, friends.

1:17.9

Welcome back to another episode of Datable.

1:22.2

Welcome back to Julie's last episode as a single woman.

1:25.5

It really is.

1:29.9

I was going to say welcome back from your European vacation. There's so many welcome backs. How does it feel? How does it feel? It still hasn't registered. So when this episode

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