S21E2: The Compatibility Myth w/ Eli Finkel

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How do you choose a partner that's a good match for you? We're joined with Eli Finkel, social psychologist and the Director of the Relationship & Motivation Lab at Northwestern University to debunk what matters and what doesn't when it comes to compatibility in relationships. We're discussing why initial shared interests and similar personalities might not be the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction, the importance of the Michelangelo Effect, and how compatibility can be built even in the early stages of dating.

Learn more about Eli Finkel and check out his podcast 'Love Factually" with Paul Eastwick and his book 'The All Or Nothing Marriage": https://elifinkel.com/

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Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Transcript

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0:56.1	Hi, I'm U-E-S-U.
0:57.5	And I'm Julie Craft-Chic.
0:59.1	We're active daters turned dating insiders.
1:01.6	Here to dive into everything, modern dating, and relationships.
1:05.3	Welcome to Datable.
1:15.1	Hello, friends.
1:17.9	Welcome back to another episode of Datable.
1:22.2	Welcome back to Julie's last episode as a single woman.
1:25.5	It really is.
1:29.9	I was going to say welcome back from your European vacation. There's so many welcome backs. How does it feel? How does it feel? It still hasn't registered. So when this episode
	...

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