Well, hey there, friends. Since we're going to miss each other this fourth, I'd like to wish

everyone a happy and safe Independence Day. On this day, 246 years ago, we adopted the Declaration of

Independence in which the colonists told Great

Britain and old King George to go fuck themselves.

Leave the English muffins and hit the bricks.

Right, Chester?

That's right, old buddy.

There's American all the alligator's.

Then there's all American alligators.

And there's no mistake in Chester here. Come on in, friends, and there's all American Alligators, and there's no mistaken Chester here.

Come on in, friends, and let's get ourselves situated.

Hmm. Oh yeah. I will say, however, that personally I have a great liking for the British.

I think they're fantastic people. Hell, I love everybody. Let's all hold hands and fuck ourselves together.

You know, something like 15,000 people ended up in the ER from firework injuries last year?

This year, let's focus on a little self-preservation, right?

Hey, I know it's funny and all to stick a lit sparkler in your girlfriend's cleavage.

But unless her fake eyelashes are made of asbestos, you're just asking for trouble.

Believe me, I know.

All right, smoke them if you've got them and drink those glasses to the bottom, because old Drew

Blood has a tell to tell.

But first, the rigamarole.

You're listening to the standard edition of this program.

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