S2, Ep1 Best Friend Therapy: People-Pleasing - Why do we do it? Is it really nice to be nice? How do we say no?
Dial Emma
Emma Reed Turrell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 18 July 2022
⏱️ 51 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We're so happy to be coming to you with Season Two of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.
And we have felt SO bad about having left you for so long. We've been worried that we'd let you down, or you wouldn't like us anymore. So we stayed up all night thinking about how to make it up to you, how to please you... hmmn. Hang on a minute, I see what we're doing here.
So this one's for the people-pleasers, the people-pleasers in recovery, and the people who'll avoid the pressures to please at any cost.
We talk about why outsourcing our sense of self to others is a risky business, the four (yes, four!) different types of people-pleasing, how to raise your stock at work and renegotiate your friendships, and why straight talking in romantic relationships is the new pillow talk.
---
Correction: When we're talking about 'heeding the seed', we're referring back to Season One, Episode Three on 'Shoulds & Oughts', not Episode 7 on 'Competition' as Emma thought. So it's 1-0 to Elizabeth. That'll please her.
Emma is so passionate about how to stop people-pleasing that she's written a book about it, and you can buy it from all good book stores, but here's a link to make it easy: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Please-Yourself-Stop-People-Pleasing-Transform/dp/0008409374
The episode of How to Fail with Elizabeth Day, featuring Emma, was Episode Seven from Season Ten and you can listen to it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000513387472
---
Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk
---
Social Media:
Elizabeth Day @elizabday
Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to Best Friend Therapy. I'm Elizabeth Day, author and |
| 0:05.8 | podcaster and for over 20 years I've been best friends with a therapist. |
| 0:10.5 | That's me. Hello, I'm Emma Reed-Tarell and I'm a psychotherapist. In my private |
| 0:15.2 | practice I talked to clients about the challenges they face in daily life and |
| 0:18.5 | we work together in a non-judgmental supportive space to increase their |
| 0:22.0 | sense of well-being. And as her BFF I get all the benefit of her expertise and |
| 0:27.0 | wisdom for free. Emma makes me feel better about life but also helps me to |
| 0:31.8 | understand why I act the way I do. Ah, thanks Liz. She's also one of the only |
| 0:37.2 | people allowed to call me Liz. We wanted to open the doors to our friendship and |
| 0:41.8 | throw a light on the therapy we all need in our everyday lives. Each week we |
| 0:46.5 | chat about what's on our minds to get deeper in our minds. Two best friends, one |
| 0:51.7 | therapist, no filter. That's Best Friend Therapy. |
| 0:57.1 | Hello, it's Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Tarell here. Well Emma's got her own |
| 1:01.9 | voice. Do you want to use it? Hello. And welcome back to Best Friend Therapy and |
| 1:08.1 | this week on this episode we are talking about one of our most requested |
| 1:12.5 | topics, people pleasing. So I have my own personal journey with people pleasing as |
| 1:20.2 | I know many of you listening will do. And if I can give a little pricey as to |
| 1:25.2 | where I'm at with it, I think I grew up in a society where young girls were |
| 1:32.3 | still conditioned to be nice, kind, pliable, helpful. And young boys, broadly |
| 1:38.4 | speaking, in generalised terms, we're talking about the 80s here so a fair |
| 1:42.5 | whack ago. But young boys, it felt like there was more opportunity for them to be |
| 1:47.0 | mischievous and assertive. And for that to be seen as bold and sort of charming. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Emma Reed Turrell, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Emma Reed Turrell and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.