Dungeons & Dabies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups.

Content warnings can be found in the episode description.

Welcome back to Awesome Lives Done Quick, the ultimate speedrunning challenge.

I'm Billy Watson, I'm seven years old. Here with the Playbite Play,

some huge moves today in the kindergarten classroom. A couple of big kids broke in and pulled

the fire alarm, but instead of putting them in the time-out corner, Miss Nurtfleet let them cut

the line to play the scary game that makes you old and promise to let them go if they can make

a million dollars faster than anybody else. Unfortunately, the first two kids simply could not get it

done. Cool anime teen Taylor Swift got soft locked in a time loop, trying to get his mom to buy a

lotto ticket and his less cool friend Leap invested all the money in crypto in a fatal miscalculation

for God that the balls go on the left when you're making a dick with a D. Can the girl

big kid Terry, scary Marlow get the job done and hopefully free us all from this waking eldritch

nightmare. Let's go now to the run in progress. Scary blows through the early childhood checkpoints

clean, but then boom, she finds a faulty airbag and takes the H. B. hit, but it looks like it's

all part of the strut filing a lawsuit now and clutches the verdict with a million dollars

settlement. Oh my, what the lawyer's taking 40% she's back down to 600K Marlow's in danger now

she's heading deep into mid adolescence. This could be trouble, but what's this? She's using

the settlement to hire pop legend Billy isle Super Tusa song. It's make or break. Let's hope the

RNG goes her way. The singles out going up the charts number 10 number eight four gonna go all

the way in time. It does scorpion slut at the top of the charts. Scary is a million

there at the age of 17. Wow, it's a new world record. What a run. The big kids are coming out

of the scary game. Somebody get me a hall pass because I just made a tinkel in my overalls.

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