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We Hate Movies

S16 Ep837: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991, with Alonso Duralde)

We Hate Movies

WHM Entertainment

Comedy, Tv & Film

4.74.9K Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2025

⏱️ 100 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“It’s always a weird drifter with a dubious backstory” - Eric on mall Santas

On this week’s episode, we finally welcome film critic/author/podcaster/great dude, Alonso Duralde on the show to chat about the totally outrageous Christmas horror schlocker, Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker! How hilarious is this face-hugger Santa toy in the cold open? Was that really the best name Mickey Rooney’s character could’ve gone with for his toy store? How hilarious is it that this robot actually has a bump? Is this lady too casual about her husband dying in a horrific household freak accident? And was that Clint Howard we spied back there? PLUS: What do you call a bunch of fans of the classic literary character, Geppetto? We break it down. 

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker stars William Thorne, Jane Higginson, Van Quattro, Tracy Fraim, Neith Hunter, Conan Yuzna, Brian Bremer, Clint Howard, and Mickey Rooney as Joe Petto; directed by Martin Kitrosser.

Also, be sure to pick up the updated & expanded edition of Alonso’s kick-ass book, “Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas,” which is a totally essential guide for your holiday viewing and is guaranteed to make a killer stocking stuffer for the cinephile in your life. Click through here to pick it up on Bookshop!

This episode is brought to you by Sonos! Looking for the perfect last-minute gift? Sonos is offering up to 25% off now through December 28, 2025 at sonos dot com.

Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause!

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey y'all, big shout out to Sonos for sponsoring this week's episode on Silent Night,

0:05.2

Deadly Night 5, colon the Toymaker.

0:08.6

This season, give the gift of Sonos sound, y'all.

0:11.6

We're going to tell you exactly how you can do that just a little later in the program.

0:15.5

But until then, yes, we are pleased to finally welcome Alonzo Duralde to We Hate Movies,

0:20.6

the Christmas movie expert, y'all.

0:23.3

We were able to have him come in and talk about this masterpiece of a Christmas horror classic.

0:29.4

Enjoy the show, y'all.

0:30.7

Cool, man.

0:32.1

Woo-hoo!

0:35.2

This week on the program, it's the only Christmas film I'm aware of that contains dueling sex scenes.

0:40.5

It's Silent Night, Deadly Night 5, colon, the toy maker.

0:44.1

I'm Andrew Jupin.

0:45.0

Steven Sadak.

0:46.0

Secret robot.

0:47.3

I can't believe there's an actual bump.

0:50.9

Chris Gavin.

0:52.8

And I'm Alonzo Durrality.

0:55.0

And we

0:55.7

hate movies. I'm I'm I'm

1:11.6

I'm

1:12.6

I'm

...

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