All of us have a coping protocol or a style that we do that we call the pain cycle because it's so predictable.

A lot of times the problem is I am a person that is blaming, controlling, shaming, or escaping, and I don't even know it.

All of us have a pain cycle and all of us bring stuff to relationships.

So you're not looking for somebody that doesn't have junk around their identity and sense

of safety.

What you're looking for is somebody that actively takes responsibility as trying to work it out.

I think this is a lot of reasons why a lot of people are staying single.

They cannot find somebody that will take care of every need they have.

Real intimacy and traditional intimacy is sharing my thoughts, my emotions,

my ideas, my motivations, my physicality with you.

And as a result of me sharing that with you, not only do you understand them better,

I understand myself better. We all carry pain. In every relationship, no matter how much therapy you've been to,

you probably still carry some level of pain. And when you are dating someone and in relationship, that pain gets exposed.

But what if you knew how to recognize it, to name it, and to shift it to a place of peace in the moment,

even when you are in the heat of conflict situations. Today, we want to help you do that,

but not just because JJ and I know exactly what we're doing. No, we are bringing in people

that are way more wise and experience than us to talk about conflict, specifically, the pain

and peace cycle, this amazing tool that has changed our life and now our marriage.

JJ, what do you have to say about it before we introduce our guests?

Yeah, I mean, we've done a lot of hard work the past, I think it's almost 11 months with Terry and Sharon.

And I just have, as we introduce them, when you say way more experience, they're trying

to say that they've had way more experience in conflicts and their marriage.

...