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Hello Dysfunction

S1 Ep97: Don’t Scream In The Bank

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Improv, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2020

⏱️ 103 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We’re back!
Hospital nightmares, no skin checks, vaginas do bleach panties. Monitor your kid’s zoom messages and don’t scream in the bank. Ratched is this week’s tv recommendation.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:17.0

If you want my body, we're back. Hi guys.

0:20.0

Episode 97.

0:24.0

Of Hello. Episode 97. Of hello dysfunction, I couldn't even remember who we were for a minute.

0:28.0

Shit.

0:29.0

After a little break, we had to take a break.

0:32.0

It happens. It's not the first time won't be the last.

0:35.0

Sometimes life interferes with our plans and yeah it's been rough.

0:43.0

Dude, it's been rough, man.

0:47.0

And you were still trying to figure out ways to record and I was like, no.

0:52.0

Yeah, because the day like whatever day I got out I was like

0:57.3

maybe we could still do it but it was like I was like no probably not the best you have to go just do nothing for a while yeah and then yeah and then shit just slowly got worse

1:09.9

So if you don't follow me on social media or whatever you might not have seen me briefly talk about it.

1:17.0

But after I had the baby, you know, I had a C section and they you know they put these things like these

1:26.0

compression sleeves on your legs and stuff the first day and they like squeeze your

1:31.6

legs to prevent blood clotting, they really should keep them on longer than one day.

1:37.6

And then after that they encourage you to walk, but I didn't walk. I was in too much pain and especially when I would stand and stuff like it felt like my

1:47.4

pussy was gonna fall out on the fucking floor. It was very I was having very weird pain and so I didn't walk I wasn't active when I was in the hospital

1:58.6

So I ended up after I got discharged but wait while you were still in there. You were telling them your chest hurt. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, kept telling and I hadn't my my milk hadn't that sounds so so fucking gross to even say my milk hadn't showed up yet so I wasn't

2:17.1

engorged yet right so like I was like why am I having this chest pain and and I was like, why am I having this chest pain?

2:23.6

And I was like, am I having anxiety?

2:25.9

Because it felt like I couldn't breathe.

2:28.3

And I was telling them that.

...

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