S1 Ep130: Let's Talk About My Tits

Hello Dysfunction

Improv, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.8 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2021

⏱️ 95 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Crystal has dry socket, Pata Fria doesn’t have new brows but she does have new bras. Hackers are active on IG and we’re just constantly reminded how awful humans are. Don’t lie to AAA and don’t be afraid to ask where someone got their butt done.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey guys, we're here. Hey girl! Episode 130 of Hello Disfunction with Crystal in
0:23.1	Petter for you. Oh my god, I'm over here tangled. So no new brows. I don't know if I told you
0:30.8	this. Yeah, you're not doing it now. No, I thought I was okay. So last night I was all excited.
0:37.2	I tweeted about it. I told a few friends. I told my sister. I sent them the page to go look. I was
0:42.9	like, yeah, I'm getting these done tomorrow. All like juice. And I thought I was going to come in
0:47.8	today all cute with new brows. No, my confirmation something told me to check your confirmation. So
0:54.8	I went and looked it up. It's for July 1st, not John 1st. I was about to be at that bitch's house
1:01.2	banging on the door. Hello, I mean, we're being really unprofessional. I'm here anyway. Can we just
1:07.3	get it done? And then I saw she was in Vegas over the weekend and I was like, that's the little
1:12.0	she's cutting it close. You're like, oh, just fuck my brows. Because for Memorial Day or whatever.
1:16.2	And I was like, I don't know. She better hurry up and get home because my appointments on Tuesday.
1:21.2	So just kidding. I didn't realize when I made the appointment that it was for two months out. So
1:26.6	she was booked that far. One month was already like, that's a good sign though. Yeah, but like,
1:32.0	fuck, I don't want to wait that long. Now I can't get them done till after Bunny's birthday. That's
1:37.2	bullshit. You need them for Bunny's birthday. I'm just thinking I needed them before a lot of
1:42.4	shit. I'm pissed. So no new brows. When they're booked up like that, it's fucking worth it. Yeah,
1:50.1	just keep yourself busy. Yeah, they look amazing on the page and stuff. So I need to go look,
1:55.2	I'm excited. Yeah, it's not microblading. It's the Andre, the tattooing. Yeah, yeah.
2:00.8	Because the microblading does not stay. Even the people that tell you they stay, they don't
2:04.7	fucking stay. No, they're only until last a year. Yeah, unless you get touch-ups constantly.
2:09.2	Yes, and yeah, and I heard it's very painful. And remember, I told you I have scarring from
2:16.4	my microblading. Yeah. So when I draw my eyebrows on, it has a dip. I have dips where the lines
	...

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