Oh wow, it's a lot of noise. Look at that coming from you. Hi guys, it's episode 128 of Hello Disfunction with Crystal and Patta for ya. Sorry I'm adjusting microphones like an asshole you guys.

Taking a lot of technical noise noise. Um, so my birthday is Friday. So this episode is in dedication to me. The whole fucking month as you guys. Okay. I'm very shit. I'm very childish when it comes to my birthday. I don't know why. But I'm the type I want to receive a text message at midnight.

Like she's not lying. I don't necessarily need gifts. I'm not like that. But I want some acknowledgement and it makes me really happy. I'd rather get the gifts. So just set your alarms now to text me. The 21st or message me on Friday. I kick off the Gemini season. Um, as you know, we are the superior zodiac sign. She's out of her mind. We're the greatest and, uh, let's celebrate all together. All my

fellow Gemini's everybody. Put on your sunglasses. Walk it. Um, so far I've decided to treat myself to eyebrows this year. Are you? Yeah, I haven't had eyebrows. I'm not. I'm so long. That's me cigarette. Uh, and, um, so my cousin actually me and her were talking about like a bunch of different places. And one of the best places I found was in Vegas. Well, leave it to her. She found a place in San

Andrew. That doesn't. It's not microblading because microblading from everybody. I know that got it. It falls out. Yeah, they're not mental. I'm currently a year. Yeah, I'm not doing that. And you could hear it. And I'm not. No, I'm not. What are you going to do? Like it's tattooing, but it's, um, like, ombre brows. Oh, the powder ombre. Yeah, but it's tattoo. It's not my. So it's supposed to stay. My only concern is that I have super oily skin. And so, you know, like you're not supposed to get them wet or anything for like a week. So I don't know.

We'll see how it goes. But it's very fucking expensive. And I hope it's worth it. She got it done already. So, yeah. So, and it looks great on her. Like literally you don't need no makeup. You just need lashes. Like you don't even. I'm excited to cut my get ready time. Even though I don't really do my eyebrows. Unless I'm really trying to be cute, which is not often. Yeah, cause your bangs cover them a lot. Right. And I mean, I do, like I let them fully grow out. But this is as full as they'll get you see, which is not much minor bone.

I look like I just have a 17 inch long forehead, but it's because there's missing eyebrows. Yeah. Yeah. And then the ones I got are blonde as fuck. Yeah. So I'm just excited. And then, you know, I'm already planning for like touch ups every, you know, how often or whatever. Yeah, and just sticking with it. And it's so local. And this lady is so bomb. And I'm like, I was talking to Mona. And I think she might be interested in taking the lady's class, which would be to do it. Yes. And then she could do mine. And I'm just

I have all these big eyebrow plans. So yeah, I'm telling you eyebrows and lashes and you literally, that's all you need. Maybe some gloss. You're good. Those are because of fucking OCD. Those are the two things that take me the longest. You're ready. No shit. I would spend like 40 minutes on my eyelashes. When doing mascara. Just make sure they're perfectly fucking separated. And then not too thick. And right, you know, and even on both sides. Yeah, just all those eyebrows. Oh my God. Getting, you know, your eyebrows are hopefully sisters. You know, they're not twins.

But even that makes me fucking nuts. And I'll just sit in the mirror for hell of fucking long. That's why I don't put them on every day. It's just a pain to me. And then like, like I said, my face is so oily that like finding a product that doesn't get oily. Get to end of the day. It's really hard. And so I started using like anesthesia like dip brow or something. But it's like, it's a long process. And still it's like, please God, don't bump my eyebrow or you're going to ruin my day. Don't forget I put them on. Yeah. Exactly.

So it's a pain. That's what it's like living through the 90s. And you wanted to pluck them all out and draw them on and be a chola. Yeah. Because it was fucking in to have them.

Mm hmm. Well, arch eyebrows, a little beard. Yeah. But this lady puts like a fucking graph on your forehead. And like, it's really technical. And it's really, it looks so fucking good. So I go on the first. And I'm really excited for that. Yeah.

I want it. The thing with me, you know, I'm spontaneous. So like when I want to do something full for this fun, tattoos, anything. I want it that day. Yep. But no, you had to book like a month. Yeah, I was pissed.

But I sent the books. Yeah. We got to wait. Yeah. It's worth it though to wait for what you really want instead of being impulsive and going to. Yeah. You know, getting a bad job. So you wait. I just wanted to announce my local Starbucks.

It's finally out of Irish cream syrup. The years ruined for me. I've been over that. I haven't got that since I'd never be over anywhere years. I'm there. I love Irish cream flavor. I love it. Yeah. It's good. It's not that great to me. I don't know. It's great to me. I just been stuck on the iced honey latte. But for some reason, all the Starbucks out here have been out of straws and oat milk for the past month. So I get it with soy instead. And it's.

It's good. It's the one that I used to say tasted weird all the time. But now it's like it's I really like it. Yeah. Yeah. So the other day I went to the gas station. I go on the gas station. I'm in there. I'm at the counter. This tall ass dude walks in. Handsome dude. His girlfriend is a few feet behind him. He didn't have on a mask. So the gas station worker was like, you have to go get your mask to come in here.

So he turns around to walk out. And he's wearing gray sweatshorts. Okay. Like gray ones. Down the crack of his butt. It's a very light brown stain mark.

Dookie stain. Yeah. Kind of had a border on it though. You know, not like it had been washed and it was like stained in there a while ago. Like maybe fresh.

Okay. I'm so fucking pissed off right now. And your girlfriend was behind you. The girlfriend was behind him. And I, I think I might have said out loud. Oh, God, right?

Quietly. But I thought in my head that girlfriend is a pot of fria because she didn't fucking tell him except pot of fria wouldn't have been going anywhere with him.

She'd have been walking in the opposite direction hitchhiking on the street. But I was thinking there's no way she didn't see that.

They look like it was maybe one of them hungover mornings because they were buying gatorade and shit.

But I was just thinking, oh my fucking God, you let him go in public like that. And you stayed with him. You didn't say, get the fuck back in the car.

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