This is Karen Hunter and welcome to the hub. Hey y'all so we had a fantastic conversation on a wellness Wednesday and I had to ask

Hillary Jacobs handle to stick around while Marie and Jason eat cupcakes because there was

a caller that said he was struggling with some

anger issues his name was Chris in Delaware and he needed an answer so I promised

him an answer and I appreciate you because I know you got to run but what's the response

to his question?

Yeah so Chris what I wanted to let just to let you know is that you if you educate

yourself about emotions and how they work it's going to help tremendously and And one of the things, anger can serve a very primary function,

right, when you're hurt and insulted

and somebody attacks you, anger is there

for an important reason, which is to, so that you learn to protect yourself.

But anger, particularly in men, can be also used defensively for when you have more tender feelings which men are not allowed to have in our culture.

So you want to begin to look for and label and name, you know, if there's anything under the anger like sadness or fear or you know any

other motions needs that are not being met and then you want to work with those

feelings so I guess what I want to direct you to is really everything is in the book and if you don't want to buy the book,

I have tons of free resources on my website.

There's a blog that I just wrote about impulse control. And there's a blog that I just wrote about impulse control and there's a

blog that's called Why People Mean which explain the difference between

experiencing anger in your body and then acting out on that anger and that we want to work to create a space

between the internal experience of anger and any action and this can seem seamless to many people.

You feel like anger, especially if you grow up in violent households where people yell and scream and hit,

people mistake that anger is about abuse to others.

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