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Radio Headspace

Rupture and Repair

Radio Headspace

Headspace Studios

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.62.4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2023

⏱️ 6 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We can learn from conflict.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, it's Sam here.

0:16.2

Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday.

0:20.4

Recently at a gathering with my friends, I found myself venting about some of my husband's

0:25.5

habits to them.

0:27.1

I basically said he plays video games too much.

0:30.9

Not a big deal, but it was still a criticism, and I could tell that he was frustrated by

0:35.6

my comment.

0:37.3

In that moment I felt an immediate sting of regret.

0:41.0

And even though I could have let it go and hoped it would resolve itself, I knew the best

0:45.6

way to repair that rupture was to say I'm sorry, which I did later that day.

0:51.8

In this case, ruptures represent the everyday hurts that are caused by criticism, or things

0:57.2

said in moments of anger, sadness, or other difficult emotions.

1:02.0

And it's called a rupture because it temporarily interrupts the flow of love and connection

1:07.0

that we normally feel in these safe and nurturing relationships.

1:11.5

And these small ruptures can snowball into bigger resentments and ultimately distrust.

1:17.8

So today I want to talk about how we can make a habit of repairing small and large ruptures

1:23.2

in our relationships.

1:27.6

So before we get into how to repair our relationship, let's talk about what gets in the way of saying

1:33.0

sorry.

1:34.0

When we do something we regret, it's natural to feel shame and embarrassment.

1:39.6

This emotion stings because we care about the person we might have hurt.

1:43.9

We don't want to do it again.

...

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