Hello and welcome.

Sitation needed. The podcast. Hello and welcome.

Citation needed.

The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia,

and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet?

And that's how it works now.

I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be standing against the charge tonight, but I'll need some loyal followers.

First up, two men who would fit right in at any militia meeting, Heath and Cecil.

Okay, I look like a cop, yes, but so does everyone else at those views.

Because most of them are cops.

Yeah, probably.

It's got to be tricky for them to, like, sniff out the Russians, right?

I show up and I brought custard for everyone.

It's like sons of flanarchy.

And also joining us tonight,

a pod dealer and the undercover cop who is not fooling him even a little,

Noah and Tom.

Yeah, well, it doesn't help when you start off asking how much it is for a lid.

And a fun fact, I do have to tell you.

Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons,

Patrons, without you, the show would start without any sketchified shenanigans.

And senior pets would have to go back to working as the U.S. envoy to Turkey.

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