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I have obsessed over my childbirth a lot, like, to an unhealthy degree.

My daughter was born four years ago, and even now, I still find myself daydreaming sometimes,

you know, playing the movie of what happened over and over in my mind, and I get stuck

at certain points.

I just fixate over whether I could have made a different choice, you know, right there

or there, and things would have gone differently, been less traumatic.

We'll get to the choices in a minute, but first, I just want to fill you in on what happened

and what I wish had happened.

So, if you've been listening to the show for a while, you'll know that I had an apesia

out of me.

You know, that's where they cut a part of your vaginal tissue called your perineum,

and I've talked about that here before.

The thing I haven't really gone into is I've been wondering all of these years, should

I actually have gotten a more aggressive intervention?

...