(Rewind): They Left? This Reaction Makes Them Fight for You
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.8 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 1 November 2024
⏱️ 6 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When you’re in love and someone decides to end the relationship, it’s natural for your brain to go into "panic mode."
Why are they doing this? How can I be the person they want? What can I say to win them back?
If you allow these swirling thoughts to take over, you’ll likely end up pushing them further and further away.
Now, I’m not here to tell you whether or not you should give things another try with your ex. There are many factors to consider, which we can talk about another time.
But what I do know is that if you want to have a real chance of reconnecting, you must understand this important truth before taking the next step...
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And our instincts in that moment are to fight for this thing, |
| 0:04.0 | to fight for the relationship that we want so badly. |
| 0:07.0 | But it's not your job with the Love Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here. |
| 0:35.7 | I think you're going to enjoy this clip. It's a classic from |
| 0:37.9 | the archives. Check it out. And don't forget, if you can leave us a review on iTunes, it would mean |
| 0:43.1 | the world. It helps us spread the word about this podcast. All right. Let's get into the episode. |
| 0:51.3 | When someone ends it with us, we go through so many different emotions, but amongst the first |
| 0:57.8 | emotions are panic, the terror of abandonment, the grief of having lost someone, but not lost |
| 1:07.4 | someone to a death, lost someone who's still there, who still exists, but has decided that they don't want us, one of the most difficult, exquisite pains we have to experience in life. |
| 1:19.6 | And now, instincts in that moment are to fight for this thing, to fight for the relationship that we want so badly. |
| 1:27.4 | But this urge to fight is a dangerous one. |
| 1:30.8 | Here's a concept I want you to take to heart. |
| 1:33.6 | It's not your job to fix what he broke. |
| 1:38.6 | Think about it. |
| 1:39.4 | He broke something. |
| 1:40.5 | He shattered something. |
| 1:42.2 | He violated the relationship. There are many different ways to |
| 1:45.6 | violate a relationship, right? Imagine he cheated on you. You would see that as a fundamental |
| 1:51.1 | violation of the boundaries of the relationship. But so is this. Why don't we see someone breaking up |
| 1:58.6 | with us, someone disappearing as a violation in itself. |
| 2:03.6 | It's a violation of a truth that we held, a truth that you and I were bigger than any problem, |
| 2:09.6 | that you and I were going to overcome, that you and I were going to do what so few people do |
... |
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