You know, how do I account for the fact that someone might never speak about the things that they have a problem with or are not sure about?

And then on the day that they break up withups is that they often happen at the very time that we feel we were letting our guard down

and being more of ourselves, revealing more of who we are, or revealing more of our life.

And when we get broken up with in those moments, it is a particular kind of painful because it feels like we are being rejected

at our core. A lot of us, when we date in the first few weeks and sometimes even months,

it can feel like we're sending out our representative on our behalf to look as good

as possible, sound as good as possible, be as easy as possible to be around, not bring any of

the complications of our lives, our personalities to the table. And of course, all of this is

a time when we feel quite insecure because deep down we know

there's more of me you don't know.

There's more of my life and the reality of my life that you're not experiencing.

And we're terrified that when they get to know all of that, that's going to be the point

where they decide that we're not for them. So in that moment where we finally

reveal more, where we finally get comfortable enough, relaxed enough, feel safe enough to say,

this is me, this is my life. And that person says, hmm, I don't, I suddenly don't want this. It is like our

worst fear coming true. So I wanted to talk about this idea. And if you've experienced anything

like this, give you five things that I think can make a huge difference that can not only ease your heartbreak, but restore a sense of confidence that might feel like it was taken from you by someone leaving.

The first thing I want to say is that it's all data.

When someone sees a part of your life

or a part of your personality and decides

that based on that, they don't to be around anymore, that's data.

And it's data that this person doesn't either doesn't really see you or sees you but doesn't

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