(Rewind): Feel Them Pulling Away? AVOID THIS MISTAKE

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 4 October 2024

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’ve heard this story a thousand times before . . .

You go on a date with someone and hit it off. Things seem to be going well, and pretty soon, you're seeing each other all the time. You text them daily, make plans for the future, and every time their name pops up on your phone, you feel a surge of happiness and excitement.

That very same excitement keeps hitting new peaks until, suddenly, you feel a shift. They grow more and more distant, and at first you're not sure whether you're imagining it or whether they really are pulling away. You double down on effort and communication, but it only seems to drive them further away until eventually they call it a day and stops messaging altogether.

If this has ever happened to you, then you know it can drive you crazy working out how to act when someone is clearly pulling away from you.

But as it turns out, there is a right way and a wrong way to proceed when this happens, and it can determine whether someone stays or goes.

In today’s episode, I’ll share with you the #1 reason why people pull away and a high-value way to respond to it.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Remember, none of the things like charisma, confidence, boldness, the fact that I just feel so good around them.
0:08.0	None of those things are things that on their own could make a great relationship. Does this sound like a familiar story to you? You meet someone and you feel something
0:39.1	that maybe you haven't felt in a while? You feel attracted, you feel connected, and the best part is they feel the same
0:48.9	way. And then, just as you're allowing your hopes to run away with themselves, you're beginning to think about what this could mean, you start to feel that person pull away.
1:02.0	Their energy changes, maybe their communication
1:04.6	becomes less consistent, maybe their responses to you get shorter, maybe they
1:08.9	stop saying some of the intense things that they were saying in the beginning.
1:14.8	Those things that stoked your hope in the first place,
1:18.2	the things that got you all excited,
1:20.6	they stopped saying.
1:25.0	It leaves us wondering what on earth went wrong
1:30.0	when everything seemed to be going so right.
1:33.4	Now, I want to talk about one of the potential reasons
1:37.4	that it happened, that they went cold,
1:40.3	and I also want to talk about the biggest mistake that we tend to make when this happens.
1:46.2	People pull away, oftentimes, because they have sensed something in us that is trying too hard,
1:57.2	that has made them too important too quickly.
2:01.5	And one of the negative effects of this is that someone begins to feel that
2:06.0	we've made up our minds about them and who they are and how valuable they should be in our lives
2:12.0	before they've really earned it.
2:13.6	And when we do that and when they sense that, our value goes down,
2:17.2	because they ask themselves the question,
	...

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