Rewind: Bridging Separation at Bedtime with Dr. Gordon Neufeld

No One Told Us

Rachael Shepard-Ohta

Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.9 • 590 Ratings

🗓️ 18 September 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Bridging Separation at Bedtime with Dr. Gordon Neufeld ⁠@neufeldinstitute⁠ This week Rachael has a very special guest, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to discuss the importance of attachment and the challenges parents face when it comes to bedtime and sleep. Dr. Neufeld is a renowned authority on child development and you will learn so much in this powerful episode! Here’s what they discuss inside this important episode: How attachment is a fundamental aspect of child development Learn all about Dr. Neufeld's Model of the Six Stages of Attachment The crucial role parents play in providing the necessary conditions for children to grow up and develop their capacity to hold on when apart Why is society so focused on independence?! How quick-fix strategies often overlook the importance of preserving the connection between parents and children Bedtime challenges and separation struggles How parents can support their children by bridging the separation at bedtime And so much more! Dr. Neufeld has accumulated more than 40 years of experience as a clinical psychologist with children and youth and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, Dr. Neufeld continues to be an international speaker, a best-selling author and a leading interpreter of the developmental paradigm. Dr. Neufeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for opening doors for change. While formerly involved in university teaching and private practice, he has devoted the best part of the last two decades to creating courses for parents, teachers and helping professionals. These courses are offered primarily through the Neufeld Institute – an online educational institute and world-wide charitable organization devoted to applying developmental science to the task of raising children. Dr. Neufeld’s life's work has been to help adults provide the conditions for children to flourish. He is a father of five and a grandfather to seven. Mentioned in this episode: Free resources from Dr. Gordon Neufeld: ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/free/⁠ Online conference with Dr. Neufeld: The Current Crisis of Well-Being: What's Happening to Our Kids? ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/conference-2024/⁠ See presentations and talks from Gordon Neufeld: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@neufeldmedia⁠ Follow Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work on: Facebook:⁠ https://www.facebook.com/NeufeldInstitute⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/neufeldinstitute/⁠ Dr. Neufeld’s Book: Hold Onto Your Kids ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/hold-on-to-your-kids-book/⁠ If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit⁠ heysleepybaby.com⁠ and follow⁠ @heysleepybaby⁠ on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of⁠ Hey, Sleepy Baby⁠, and the host of this podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to No One Told Us, the podcast that tells the truth about parenting and talks about all the things that you wish you knew before having kids.
0:10.8	I'm your host, Rachel Shepard Ota, and today I am so, so honored to be speaking with Dr. Gordon Newfeld.
0:16.5	Dr. Newfeld has accumulated more than 40 years of experience as a clinical psychologist
0:20.9	with children and youth and those responsible for them.
0:24.1	He's a foremost authority on child development and Dr. Newfeld continues to be an international
0:29.3	speaker and best-selling author.
0:31.7	Dr. Newfeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for
0:36.3	opening doors for change. While formerly
0:38.8	involved in university teaching and private practice, he's devoted the best part of the last two
0:43.6	decades, creating courses for parents, teachers, and helping professionals that work with children.
0:49.2	These courses are offered primarily through the Newfeld Institute and online, educational
0:53.2	institute, and worldwide charitable
0:54.9	organization devoted to applying developmental science to the task of raising children. Dr. Newfeld's
1:01.1	life's work has been to help adults provide the conditions for children to flourish, and he's also
1:06.7	a father of five and a grandfather to seven. And one of my personal heroes, I just absolutely
1:13.5	adore you and your work and everything that you stand for. And I'm so excited to talk with you
1:18.9	today. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Rachel. And I'm delighted to be here.
1:24.2	It's an important topic. So today we're going to kind of dive into separations and more specifically separations as it comes to bed time and sleep.
1:36.3	And if we have time, we can dive into separations with childcare and things like that as well.
1:41.3	Because I know you talk so well about that.
1:43.3	First, I would love for you to just give some context to those listeners who are newer to your work. And I'd love for you to kind of describe for us your model of the six stages of attachment that help us kind of explain the development and the unfolding of children in those first few years.
2:00.5	Well, one of the most important developmental tasks, the priorities of the brain, is to help a child hold on one apart.
	...

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