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Petty Crimes
Podcast Nation
4.8 • 948 Ratings
🗓️ 30 December 2025
⏱️ 43 minutes
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Summary
Can you legally kiss your boss's son on New Year's Eve? What if I told you I only did it because I hate my boss(!). Plus, the fabulous Chandler Dean (Abolish Everything!) is here!!!
Petty Crimes is hosted by Ceara Jane O’Sullivan and Griff Stark-Ennis
Have a crime that should be heard in the Petty Crimes Court? Submit it to pettycrimespodcast@gmail.com
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This episode was produced and edited by Riley Madincea. Additional production support from Meghan Hinna.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Sorry, just one second. |
| 0:02.1 | One of my cats has, like, jail broken into the loft where the foster cat is and now she's eating her food. |
| 0:06.9 | And she's clinically obese, so I have to stop her. |
| 0:09.3 | Get out of here. |
| 0:10.1 | Guilty for fat shaming the cat. |
| 0:12.3 | She's obese. |
| 0:13.3 | Get gone. Welcome back to Petty Crimes, the only true crime comedy podcast that exclusively investigates non-crimes. |
| 0:33.8 | Guys, today is a very special day in the Petty Crimes Court. We have a friend in the building. This is Chandler. |
| 0:42.4 | Chandler is a comedy writer and a producer who's written sketches at UCB, articles in the New Yorker. |
| 0:49.0 | The reason why I think Chandler will be a perfect fit for our show is because he is the creator and host of this show that |
| 0:55.3 | happens live in New York. I've been a guest on the show, but it also is produced as an independent |
| 1:00.5 | television show on Nebula, which is a very cool platform if you don't know about it. The second season is |
| 1:06.3 | about to come out. The show is called Abolish Everything. Basically, I mean, Chandler should be describing it, |
| 1:12.1 | but I insist I'm going to. Basically, what happens is somebody comes on with an incredibly hot take, |
| 1:18.4 | presents a PowerPoint defending their very strong opinion. And then there's a panel of experts |
| 1:24.3 | who are really non-experts a la Griff and I who will poke holes. I mean, the entire |
| 1:30.5 | show is so testy and petty and funny. I know you all would love abolish everything, and I'm |
| 1:36.0 | very glad that Taylor is here today. Thank you so much, Kira. You have described it so much better |
| 1:41.1 | than I could, and your endorsement means the world, especially knowing |
| 1:45.8 | that I am now entering a space where that exact kind of pettiness is also celebrated. And I agree, |
| 1:53.4 | it's a perfect fit. And I'm so excited to be a part of your show. Thanks, Shaler. Would you describe |
| 1:58.9 | yourself in real life as a petty person? |
... |
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