Rethinking Masculinity: Strength and Connection w/ Terry and Justin Real

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 June 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Forrest is joined by renowned therapist Terry Real and his son Justin for a frank exploration of modern masculinity. They talk about why so many men feel like they’re struggling these days, and how the traditional model of masculinity perpetuates this problem. They discuss the appeal of red pill cultures, the cultural pushback against gender equality, and how to convince men that the answer is not more dominance but more connection. Other topics include emotional intelligence, creating fulfilling relationships, and how men can claim a healthier understanding of strength. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Terry on patriarchy and male disconnection 7:56: Justin on being raised in an emotionally aware environment 11:34: The problem of male invulnerability 14:35: What do women actually want? 18:10: Strength, relationality, and loving power 27:50: Common patterns in therapy 35:20: The performance of masculinity 49:01: Parenting, gender literacy, and fatherhood 52:10: Selling this to men, and the need for new models 59:48: Recap Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today. Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well.
0:08.8	I'm Forrest Hanson.
0:10.1	If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today.
0:12.2	And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:14.7	You don't have to look hard these days to find a piece of content that talks about how men are struggling, the male loneliness epidemic,
0:22.5	or how there's a crisis of masculinity. And it's true. There are a variety of metrics that show that
0:28.2	particularly relative to women, men are having a hard time. Men are four times more likely than women
0:33.8	to commit suicide. 47% of women in the United States under the age of 35 have a bachelor's
0:39.4	degree compared to just 37% of men, and two and three women under the age of 30 are in a relationship
0:45.8	compared to just one and three men. And if you're trying to figure out how that gap is possible,
0:49.8	it's because women are choosing to date older men. There's a lot of argument and a lot of different
0:54.7	opinions about what the real problems are here, why this is happening, and what the solutions are.
0:59.9	But one of the major consequences of this has been a huge backlash over the last decade
1:04.5	against gender equality among young men. A good example of this is a statistic I saw recently
1:10.4	that looked at attitudes
1:11.6	among eighth to tenth grade American boys. These were boys who were just 13 to 16 years old.
1:16.6	In 2018, 72% of these boys agreed completely that men and women should be paid the same money
1:22.6	if they do the same work. In 2023, that number had dropped by 15 percentage points to 57%. Today I'm talking
1:30.3	about all of this with two guests, Terry and Justin Reel. Terry is the founder of relational life
1:34.8	therapy and the author of four books, including I Don't Want to Talk About It, Overcoming the Secret
1:39.1	Legacy of Male Depression, and Us, getting past you and me to build a more loving relationship. He's a well-known
1:45.9	couples therapist, and while it's normally me and Rick as the father-son duo on this show,
	...

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