How do I hold all of this? How do I hold the desire to continue living my life without hedging

against my fear that I won't live long enough to get to exist in that future?

Hey, everyone, it's Adam Grant. Welcome back to Rethinking, my podcast with Ted on the Science of What Makes Us Tick.

I'm an organizational psychologist, and I'm taking you inside the minds of fascinating people

to explore new thoughts and new ways of thinking.

Zuleka Jawad is the author of the stunning memoir Between Two Kingdoms and the new book of

Alchemy, which in some ways is an extension of her popular newsletter, the isolation journals.

Both are filled with thought-provoking prompts for journaling, and were inspired by her experience

of journaling her way through cancer treatment, and now informed by her practice of journaling with her husband, musician John Batiste.

I wasn't always a big fan of journaling,

but I love how Suleka sees journaling as a practice that can take many forms.

People use journaling in all kinds of ways.

It was used by Japanese women as pillow books, where they would write gossip and secrets.

It was used as a space for private reflection with immense public implications like

Anne Frank and her diary.

And for me, sometimes my journal looks like a painting.

Sometimes it looks like one sentence or a grocery list.

And sometimes it looks like morning pages that I write first thing in the morning before I've had my coffee.

Before that inner critic awakens and starts asking why in the world you're going on and on about something that seems seemingly pointless.

Suleka and I talked about reimagining survival as a creative act, the joy of playing

pranks with your friends, and how to hold both the beauty and pain of life together.

I have to tell you, I think the starting point for me for this conversation is I've always

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