Relics
Rude Tales of Magic
Bucket of Milk
4.9 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 8 November 2022
⏱️ 86 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
*HURRY UP AND GET TICKETS TO SEE TIM'S NEW LIVE SHOW!!! THIS FRIDAY!!* https://nycomedyfestival.com/lineup/made-of-bugs-with-tim-platt/
A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I soft in the middle now?
Why am I soft in the middle?
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard"
Bonedigger, Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away, my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al
Get busy BACKBLAZing or get busy dying. They sponsored this episode and are your new gods.
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! Hope Elon doesn't buy it, lol!!
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.
Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is a headgum podcast. |
| 0:07.0 | Ah, there you are, traveller. |
| 0:12.0 | Come inside to hang up your couch, |
| 0:15.0 | put your feet by the fire |
| 0:18.0 | and I shall bring you what you so desperately seek. |
| 0:24.0 | Rude tales of magic. |
| 0:33.0 | Welcome back to Rude Tales of Magic. |
| 0:35.0 | Having defeated the virtuous bandits by their own logic, |
| 0:38.0 | our heroes venture onward through the regal and clean James Woods |
| 0:42.0 | on their journey back to Polaris University. |
| 0:45.0 | The air here is crisp and clean, |
| 0:47.0 | the trees enormous and sky-touching, |
| 0:50.0 | their girth note worthy. |
| 0:52.0 | Your path stretches forward, |
| 0:54.0 | and even occasionally cuts directly through massive trees |
| 0:57.0 | which power overhead. |
| 0:59.0 | You pass an enormous skeleton laying in a crater |
| 1:01.0 | of humanoid shape, |
| 1:02.0 | thousands of feet above in the crisp sky, |
| 1:05.0 | a pillowy cloud sits stationary |
| 1:07.0 | with an open trap door of cloud stuff. |
| 1:10.0 | A fancy gilded sign with disproportionately large first letters |
... |
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