Josh Trent welcomes Jayson Gaddis to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 805, to reveal why conflict is an unavoidable part of love, how childhood conditioning shapes the way we fight and repair, why intimacy requires both closeness and separation, how anxious and avoidant attachment create relationship gridlock, and why learning the art of repair is the real skill that keeps relationships connected, honest, and alive.

In This Episode, Jayson Gaddis Uncovers:

[01:30] Conflict Is Part of Relationships

• Why most people believe conflict is bad.
  How high achievers struggle to have hard conversations.
• Why we're genetically wired to avoid rejection.

Resources:

• Jayson Gaddis
• Getting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis

[04:00] It Starts With Your Parents

• How Jayson realized he needed to learn how to navigate conflict.
• Why he was pushing their partners away, thinking they were the problem.
• How parents don't know how to hold space for themselves and their children.
• Why children adapt to their parents' behavior and shrink to meet their parents where they are.

[07:55] Your Suffering Guides You to Your Purpose

• How Jayson struggled because of his parent's behavior.
• Why our childhood wounds often becomes what leads us to success.
• How suffering can lead to purpose.
• Why talk therapy didn't help Jayson heal his wounds.
• The importance of seeing the benefits of what we went through and being grateful for it.

Resources:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• It Didn't Start with You by Mark Wolynn
• 803 Self-Sabotage is a Lie: The Hidden Duality Keeping You Stuck | Dr. John Demartini

[13:45] The Spirituality of Relationships

• Why relationships are a spiritual path.
• How waking up and getting aligned with purpose is hard.
• Why Jayson felt most alive when he finally cried.

Resources:

• Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: by John Welwood

[18:25] Ancestral Healing

• Why our previous lifetimes define our current life time.
• How ancestral trauma is passed down.
• Why Josh chooses the meaning of his suffering.
• How Jayson realized resentment towards his parents was making him sick.
• Why we can't fix our parents.

Resources:

• Cherry blossom study

[25:20] The Duality of Relationships

• The true essence of a relationship.
• Why Jayson and Josh both are still learning to embody the depth of relationships.
• How intimacy involves closeness and separation.

[28:50] The Teacher Is The Student

• How leading the Relationship School teaches Jayson to be a better husband.
• Why starting the Relationship School called in relationship challenges.
• A teacher should always stay a student.

Resources:

• Relationship School

[32:50] Why The Ego Seeks Safety

• Why safety is an illusion and cannot be guaranteed.
• How the need to feel safe affects our relationships.
• Why marriage doesn't ensure safety.
• What causes us to feel alone and disconnected.
• How we can be connected to ourselves.

[40:30] The Consequences of Disconnection and Closed Heart

• The price we pay for not being connected to ourselves.
• How reality could turn into a dystopia if we're not conscious.
• What it takes to open our hearts.
• How a lot of parents don't notice that they're raising disconnected children.
• Why being present is a lot more work than being disconnected.
• How we can become connected through relationships and honesty.

[45:20] Learn How to Repair

• How parents can stay calm when they feel reactive.
• Why repair is even more important than always being emotionally regulated.
• The four steps of repair.
• Why people can't listen when they're triggered.

[51:45] Are Your Expectations Reasonable?

• How the ability to repair doesn't excuse abusive behavior.
• Why repair removes shame and judgment.
• How repair opens our hearts.
• Why we can have preferences and expectations for our partner.
• How expectations are demonized in the self-development space.

[59:00] Your Pain Is Being Used for Profit

• The myths of the feminine and masculine energies.
• Why social media often doesn't provide enough context.
• How our pain can be weaponized by influencers.
• The importance of having people around us who check on us.

[01:06:30] The Distortions

• Why some people are not aware that they're manipulating others.
• How spiritual teachers also have a shadow.
• Why people struggle navigating conflict.

[01:12:25] Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Dynamic

• What "getting to zero" means.
• Why someone who is anxiously attached often thinks about themselves.
• How the anxious person advocates for the relationship.
• Why the avoidant's withdrawal makes it harder for the relationship to repair.

[01:18:30] How to Create Lightness

• Why Jayson is still struggling with his sexuality.
• How truth and openness create lightness.
• The importance of cultivating a connection with ourselves and others.

Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts

---

All Resources From This Episode

• Jayson Gaddis
• Getting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• It Didn't Start with You by Mark Wolynn
• 803 Self-Sabotage is a Lie: The Hidden Duality Keeping You Stuck | Dr. John Demartini
• Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: by John Welwood
• Cherry blossom study
• Relationship School

---