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Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Reduce Drama in Your Life – Unpack The Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer In Us All (21)

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Social Sciences, Society & Culture, Science, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.71.5K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2017

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Click for PDF of Karpman’s Triangle Explained Karpman's Drama Triangle Stephen Karpman, MD a psychiatrist working with Transactional Analysis under Erik Berne conceived the idea of this simple representation, now referred to as a drama triangle, or Karpman’s Triangle, to explain how we can sometimes get locked in rigid self-satisfying or self-punishing roles: Victim Perpetrator Rescuer that can impact our ability to live free and peaceful lives. In this podcast we explore not only how the roles impact our relationships with others but also the positive characteristics that we can move towards in each of these roles. Interplay Between Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer Roles: A State of Drama These natural roles don’t define us, but are more ego states we drop into under stress, often in response to someone else’s behavior. Someone in Victim-role can elicit the other person in a dyad to go into Recue-role and if you stay in a rigid Rescuer role long enough one can evoke your own or another’s Perpetrator and so on. The problem isn’t that we trend towards these corners of the triangles, it’s only when we get stuck in an extreme. The podcast describes how to get out of the role lock and move back into an integrated balanced state whereby you are in touch with the health of all three of these positions. Healthy Characteristics of Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer Roles For example the health in the Perpetrator/Persecutor role, if it’s not extreme, is the capacity to stand up for oneself, have a voice, set boundaries, be assertive and hold people accountable. The health in the Rescue role is more obvious, because the compassion and warmth is visible. What it’s covering though is more interesting for this role, which can have a great deal of hidden aggression and lack of agency, and can be at the expense of the self. Health in the victim role is having the self-awareness to see one’s own vulnerability, and when combined with the other two sides of the triangle – assertiveness and compassion, you have a solid strong integrated state. So the goal is to stay out of rigid self-satisfying or self-defeating role locks and incorporate the disowned parts of you that may lie in the opposite corners of the triangle. RESOURCES: Additional resources for this episode: Karpman, S. (1968). Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional Analysis Bulletin, 7(26), 39-43 These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page! Tweet See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Therapists Unsensored, a podcast where therapists freely speak their minds about real life matters. Welcome to Therapist Unsensored.

0:16.3

I'm Sue Marriott and I'm Patty Alwell.

0:18.6

And I'm Anne Kelly.

0:19.8

This is episode 21 and today we're going to discuss how to disentangle ourselves from the most

0:24.7

common knots we get ourselves into.

0:26.8

We all have the capacity to take the position of the perpetrator, the victim, or the rescuer

0:32.0

in any of our relationships.

0:33.7

And so understanding this dynamic can really help to reduce drama and conflict in our lives.

0:39.4

Have a listen.

0:40.3

So today we are going to talk about something that I find myself talking a lot about in session which is this concept called

0:47.7

Cartman's triangle. Have you guys ever heard of it? I've heard of it. Don't know a lot about it.

0:53.0

Tell us more.

0:54.0

So the idea is, it's a super simple idea that I think will kind of turn on a light bulb.

0:59.6

The notion is that each of us has inside of us a little triangle and on each corner there is a little

1:05.4

letter and so on one side of the triangle is victim and we all have it I can out victim just about anybody I have to tell.

1:15.0

We can compete out. I don't know. No, I'm the bigger victim.

1:19.0

Oh no, but it's far worse for me.

1:24.2

So you get the idea, right?

1:25.8

And then on the other, one of the other points

1:28.9

of the triangle is Rescuer.

1:31.1

And then on the another point of the triangle is people call it different things but basically it's I think of it as perpetrator

1:37.8

I want you to think about that the further out and we're not making fun of this, this is actual, these are states and

...

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