Red Envelope Olympics
Absolutely Not
Dear Media
4.9 • 14K Ratings
🗓️ 18 February 2026
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a Dear Media production. |
| 0:06.4 | Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time. |
| 0:12.6 | I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the |
| 0:32.8 | Absolutely Not podcast. |
| 0:34.9 | I'm your host, Heather McMean. |
| 0:36.0 | How are you? |
| 0:39.3 | Happy Chinese New Year. |
| 1:11.1 | Happy Chinese New Year. Happy Chinese New Year. I hope that you got a red envelope of cash from an elder to spend however the hell you want to. Happy Chinese New Year. I'm richly blessed, highly favored. And I hope that the tradition still is reigning true in your life if you've never spent a Chinese New Year. I've been in Asia during Chinese New Year and it is really, really freaking fun. |
| 1:19.1 | But apparently, I believe the tradition is if you are unmarried, you get an envelope of cash from your elder family members. And it's a significant amount of cash. And they have to be crisp bills. |
| 1:27.1 | So my husband had a friend who is |
| 1:29.6 | Chinese and still unmarried and he basically just racks it up. I mean, he makes rent for the |
| 1:35.6 | next three years by having all of his relatives be like, you didn't get wiped up. Here's some cash. |
| 1:40.6 | So now I'm sure I'm butchering a lot of the tradition there. But either way, if you are single, |
| 1:45.9 | this might be the time to send your parents |
| 1:47.8 | just a little, I don't know, |
| 1:49.7 | YouTube clip and say, where is my red |
| 1:51.9 | envelope of cash? Okay. |
| 1:53.8 | I have given you no grandchildren |
| 1:55.2 | and no stability for |
| 1:57.7 | a future. But |
| 1:59.7 | I deserve cash. |
| 2:01.0 | And I think that that's fantastic. |
... |
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