After running countless scenarios of possible invasions of the continental United States,

military strategists have repeatedly concluded,

our most vulnerable point is the small rural town of Calumet, Colorado.

From there it's quick work to dispatch the industrial powerhouses and population centers

of Nebraska, Kansas, and Wyoming and gain control of the strategically crucial plain states.

It's with this premise that Director John Millius made one of the greatest contributions to American cinema.

His screenplay for Apocalypse Now is a distant second.

Remember, Millius was the real life inspiration for the character of Walter Subcheck

in the Big Lebowski, so this is really saying something.

Star, an impeccable mid-80s cast featuring Jennifer Gray,

Leah Thompson, Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C Thomas Howell, Jennifer Gray,

Leah Thompson, and Harry Dean Stanton,

not to mention Jennifer Gray and Leah Thompson.

Today's film follows this gender diverse but monochromatic Brat Pack as they defend their

backwater town from invading Soviet, Cuban, and Nicaraguan soldiers.

They form a resistance cell as

Swayze as their leader, putting their football honed team-building exercises

and offensive playbooks to work,

while utilizing the hunting and surviving skills they learned from their

red-white and blue fathers.

Harassing the invaders and extracting violent revenge for the deaths of their families, they

enact the fantasy resistance to foreign tyranny at the heart of so

...