Well, every marriage has some element of trauma. We bring trauma into the marriage. We experience it at some point in time. Typically, it could be little T trauma like irritants and things that are temporary. It could be big T trauma, really major things that occurred in the

past or that we're dealing with right now. And you're going to hear from a couple with a major

T trauma that they found recovery from and they even found hope in God again. I'm John Fuller,

joined by Greg and Aaron Smalley, who lead our marriage department. And Aaron, as you counsel couples,

how often do you meet a

couple who are dealing with trauma and things are all clouded? They can't even remember why they got

married in the first place. John, I would say that this is quite frequent because as you differentiated,

there's small tea trauma and big tea trauma. Small tea trauma is stuff, the stuff that happens day to day. It could be that

I feel failed because my dad, which this didn't happen, but my dad told me I was stupid continuously.

And so it really is looking at what's happening. Is it something smaller? Is it huge? Like

something traumatic

happened in the present or in the past that hasn't been dealt with. What ends up happening is

this trauma ends up being misprocessed and getting stuck in your limbic system and your amygdala.

So you're constantly in that place of being triggered and experiencing what we call the amygdala. So you're constantly in that place of being triggered and experiencing what we call

the amygdala hijack. And so it's important to recognize when this is happening, behaviors are

different than who your spouse really is. This can lead to emotional disconnection. Your spouse is

in survival and they're worrying about self-protection

and, you know, really survival versus vulnerability and connection.

And, you know, it's recognized we all have unresolved pain and trauma triggers from the past.

And so it's important to be self-aware, to be, you know, evaluating what is going on

inside of me. Where am I at with my trauma? If I'm aware of the trauma, have I gone in and sought

professional help to heal? And if I brought it into the light with my spouse. So it's just, it's

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