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The Babylon Bee

Real Moms Of The Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee

Seth Dillon

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.42.9K Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2020

⏱️ 81 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this special mother's day episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by their moms, Diane and Diane, to talk about the biggest stories of the week like celebrities being just like you, believe-all-women hypocrisy, and how expert predictions always go well. Then, the biggest topic of the week, your mom. We find out about what it was like having to raise Kyle and Ethan and whether or not it was worth it.

In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to keep listening to the two Dianes spill on all the really embarassing stories that they have on Kyle and Ethan. Kyle's mom brings in a treasure trove of old stuff Kyle made.

Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

Show Outline

Introduction - Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kyle's mom Diane and introduce viewers to the new videocast.

Stuff That’s Good -

Kyle - Disc golf

Ethan - Crooked Still

Weird news-

Police in India reveal device to detain coronavirus lockdown violators without contact

Kentucky governor apologizes to Tupac Shakur for unemployment mix-up

Sign warns 'mystery human poo-er' to stop defecating on garage

Man takes 43 wet sponge hits to the face for Guinness record

Stories of the Week

Story 1 - Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts

With Americans feeling the financial pressure of millions of jobs lost, Celebrities joined together to bring hope to the nation by spelling “We’re all in this together” with their yachts

  • Patton Tweet

  • People who thought it was real

  • Hope police cars - PROPHECY REPORT cops got together to spell out HOPE with their cars and they really did that

Story 2 - Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican

At a prelimary hearing to establish evidence in the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden, a federal judge dismissed all charges after the revelation that he was not a Republican.

Story 3 - Scientists Who Didn't Predict A Single Thing Accurately For Last Two Months Confident They Know What The Weather Is Going To Be Like In 100 Years

Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models confirmed today that they are "pretty confident" they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years.

Kyle and Ethan play Name That Failed Prophecy!

Topic of the Week - Your Mom

  • Was it worth it?

  • Weird/embarrassing stories from the kids’ youth (subscriber?)

  • What’s your favorite yo momma joke?

  • Parenting advice: you’re obviously great parents since you raised the minds behind The Babylon Bee. What is some advice you have for all the young mothers out there?

  • What was the worst part about raising (Ethan/Kyle)

  • What hopes and dreams were crushed the moment you became a parent

  • What do you do with all your free time now

  • Kyle talks about his Christian upbringing. You didn’t let him watch movies like The Terminator or Friday the 13th, scarring him for life. What do you have to say for yourself?

  • Are there any interesting home remedies you found as a mother?

  • Tips for moms -- agree or disagree

Love Mail/Hate Mail- We got some hate regarding this gem.

Paid-subscriber portion

Exclusive moms stuff

Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about.

Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

In a world of fake news, we bring you up to the minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy dose of moral truth.

0:10.0

With your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.

0:16.0

This is the Babylon B. Fake News, you can trust.

0:24.0

Welcome to the first ever public Babylon B video videotape taped podcast video tape.

0:34.0

What are your tape? We're one of those VCR movies now. This is available on beta max and laser disc.

0:44.0

It's an oddly naked feeling knowing that the internet can see us now. We have been posting videos to our subscribers.

0:50.0

This is our first official episode. It's a little bit of a different episode because it's Mother's Day.

0:58.0

We have a special guest host. My mom, Diane Mann.

1:04.0

Thank you.

1:06.0

I can't make your mom jokes anymore.

1:08.0

You have to wait till she leaves.

1:10.0

Later on, she's going to be our interviewee along with my mom's coming on.

1:14.0

Ethan's mom who had to Skype in.

1:16.0

Amazing. The Skype went well.

1:18.0

The Skype went fine.

1:20.0

Yeah. Better than the other guest we talked about.

1:22.0

We didn't go so well.

1:24.0

So yeah, we're going to talk moms.

1:26.0

I just wanted, you know, I'm sorry that you all had mental images of what we looked like.

1:32.0

And I know that we're shattering that right now.

1:34.0

We had one email that said that they thought that I was a giant muscular guy with red hair.

1:42.0

And not at all. I mean, I would kind of red it here.

...

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