We cannot control when we meet the one, but we can control how many people we meet and how quickly we let go of someone who is the wrong one.

Are you finding that you're losing the motivation to date? There's a lot of contradictory feelings that we have in our love lives.

On one hand, there's a part of us deep down that knows I would love to meet someone. I want to meet the love of my life.

But many of us hate dating. We hate the process. And that's understandable. It's kind of like saying, I want to find the one I love, but I don't want to go on dates with people that aren't them.

And the list gets longer of things that we don't want to do in our love lives.

We don't most of us want to spend hours and hours scrolling mindlessly on dating apps. We don't want to do activities that we're not interested in simply for the purposes of maybe meeting someone which is a small chance anyway.

And of course, many introverts really feel this acutely. Because the things that they fantasize about doing with the love of their life, whether it's going on a vacation together,

whether it's going on a road trip, camping, being chill at home and watching movies or going on candlelit dinners, these are all very intimate things.

And the opposite of many of the things that we're told we need to do in order to meet someone which is be around lots of people and play the numbers game.

In some ways, it could be argued that this is like many things in life. Many people want to be wealthy, but they don't want to go through the hassle of starting a business.

Many people want to have that action hero body, but they hate the gym. But I suppose the difference is that when we go to the gym, even though we don't get our ideal body that day, that week or even that month, necessarily, we still feel like we made a little progress.

That that session counted. And the same is true of running a company. You may not feel like you're getting the results you want yet, but you do feel like you're on the way to building something.

That effort counted. In our love lives, we can have this horrible feeling that none of the effort we're putting in actually counts.

That we just had another conversation or another date with someone we clearly have no future with. And all we left with is the disappointment and the resentment that that was time we could have spent with someone we actually love from our friends and family or doing something we actually love.

Everyone has had that experience of going home from a date and thinking, I am done. I don't care anymore. I'm not looking anymore. I don't want to do this ever again.

So what is the solution to all of this? First, don't see everything that you need to do in your love life as only being for your love life.

I think a lot of our resentment and frustration and even depression comes from thinking that the things we have to do to find love have no utility outside of finding the person we want.

I think some of them it's hard to justify outside of finding a person, scrolling away on a dating app. It's hard to figure out what the good reason for doing that would be if it wasn't to find somebody.

And it's hard to see it as not a waste of time if we don't find somebody. But there are other things that I think are worth it for their own sake.

In rich our lives, going out there and doing new things, even if they're things that we don't always want to do, or they're not things that we would normally choose to do, I think those experiences do add color and flavor to our lives.

The very least they give us more things to have a conversation about, more things to have an opinion on. One of the things that I used to love about Anthony Bourdain in the series Parts Unknown is that it always felt to me like he was dating the world.

It felt like he was somehow dating life, dating the planet, that he was going around and having all of these adventures.

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