Online dating is a lot of work.

Surely you've heard that.

Surely you felt that way.

It's why many of us, when we're sifting through the prospects, make knee-jerk reactions.

Should we trust our gut?

Or can being a bit more thoughtful about the process

lead to a better outcome? Ready, aim, swipe? It's coming up on this episode of Dating

Long Gray, the grown-ups guide to love sex and relationships. I'm Laura Stasi. A few years ago, a newcomer in my running group came up and introduced herself.

Someone had told her about this podcast, and she wanted to tell me her experience with online dating.

It's a plot twist I'd never heard before and haven't heard since. She told me that

as soon as her divorce was final, she downloaded one app and connected with the first man who

reached out. They met in real life and boom, they've been a committed couple ever since.

Wow. If only it were that streamlined for all of us. Because most online

daters, even those who have found exactly what they're looking for, have told me they found the

process to be a slog. I confess that's my attitude. And that's after I've sweated over writing a

catchy paragraph or two and curating my photos

for a supposedly surefire profile because I know as soon as I post it, I need to implement

a game plan for what comes next, not only for how I'll respond to anyone who reaches out,

but also for being proactive and waiting through the profiles

to find people I want to reach out to.

It seems like every time I promise myself, I'll give dating apps more than a half-hearted try,

I bail.

...