Hey, this is John Fuller, along with Greg and Aaron Smalley, who lead the marriage team here at Focus on the Family.

And, Aaron, let's talk about safety in the relationship, in the marriage relationship.

What are some ways that Greg helps you feel emotionally safe as you're hanging out with each other.

So many things come to mind so quickly. I love when he really listens well and is able to validate

my emotion and just be there with me in the emotion, not fixing it, not correcting it, not demeaning it,

which he really doesn't do at the beginning of our relationship. There was more of that.

You were more of a counselor kind of guy? I've learned. It's evidence that I can learn things.

Yes. I love to when he, I feel so safe, when I hear him saying to the kids, you know what, no,

your mom loves you and she's for you. You need to go and talk to her about that. Because then

it tells me he's got my back. And that's important in our relationship, as well as this is often

counterintuitive for men. But so often when Greg tells me that he's made a mistake in some

way and he's honest with me about it, I feel so safe.

Those are rare moments.

Oh, yes.

That happened a few years ago.

Right.

Yes.

And so often men are like, what?

When I tell my wife that I did something wrong, it actually helps her to feel safe, to know that there's authenticity

in the relationship. So those are three things that really help me to feel safe with Greg.

Okay. Well, as we talked last time, we're going to explore something called the reactive cycle

today, and safety in the relationship is a big part of it. Focus on the family with

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