Raising The Stakes | Your Mom's House Ep. 705

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 26 April 2023

⏱️ 116 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Segura and Christina P. Would like to cordially invite you back to the Mommy Dome! What age range is appropriate to date? We open with a clip of a cool guy who got beat up by a girl, Christina continues to learn about the animal kingdom, we dive deeper into Enny and Ryan basketball game AND Enny seems to have cracked Tom’s color coding system for his soundboard! We get an update on ol’ Sh!t Eyes aka Blind Bob, continue our MASSIVE campaign to send Tom to space, and we reinforce that absolutely everyone you know will die at some point. How neat!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, Governor! I'm coming to London May 9th!
0:04.0	I'm sorry, I'm coming to London May 9th. One night only. One show at 21 Soho. Get your tickets now
0:10.5	ChristinaPonline.com. This week on your mom's house...
0:14.2	Would you fuck your mom forever?
0:16.2	I think you just want to kill people. Yeah, let's not get into it too much.
0:21.0	You try.
0:23.0	Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
0:29.0	Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.
0:40.0	Sautva mattress company. I've been talking about them for like a decade. Why? Because I freaking love them.
0:47.0	I sleep every night on the solar mattress. My favorite part is that it's got a night light like under the bed.
0:52.0	So when my kids sneak in and sleep with me, they don't stumble around. They have their own mattresses from Sautva.
0:58.0	And our guests even sleep on a lumen leaf. That's how die hard I am. I love this company because it's...
1:06.0	Everything is made organic cotton in the U.S. of A. There are no ridiculous fees. So you can get like a king size mattress for a fraction of the cost of what other stores do.
1:16.0	But other stores are trying to sell it to you. Because they have to pay for sales people and the overhead of real estate.
1:22.0	Sofah doesn't deal with any of that. So they can give you a quality mattress for way less.
1:28.0	So try it out right now. Go to sofah.com slash the shit for $200 off your next Sautva purchase.
1:36.0	Again, sofah.com slash the shit for $200 off.
1:43.0	You're my son. I'm your mom. You're my son. I'm your mom. Ask and will you get your mom.
1:57.0	Yes, I would. You're my son. I'm your mom.
2:02.0	It's just like the gaze. It's just like the gaze. I looked at her and she looked at me.
2:13.0	It's just like the gaze. What's your wife's called me mom? You know what I mean?
2:19.0	The boat consenting her dolls. Ask and will you. Ask, ask, ask and will you.
	...

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