Well, in, you know, the behavioral model that was, you know, ubiquitous in the 80s in terms of what was informing parenting models, the model was if we want a child to avoid negative behavior, we have to give them negative feelings about that behavior so that they learn.

So the idea was the more negative a behavior, the more negative our response and emotions need to be around it.

And that's a purely behavioral model.

But we've had a lot of neuroscience since then.

And so what's hard with, you know, while we're parenting

and the generation above us are witnessing us make these changes is that they're having to reckon

with, oh, we thought we were doing the best by our kids because they weren't being harsh

as a way to harm us or our children.

The harshness was an attempt to protect us.

Hi, this is Deney.

I'm the founder of Simple Families.

Simple Families is an online community for parents who are seeking a simpler, more intentional

life. In this show, we focus on minimalism with kids, positive parenting, family wellness,

and decreasing the mental load. My perspectives are based in my firsthand experience raising

kids, but also rooted in my PhD in child development. So you're going to hear

conversations that are based in research, but more importantly, real life. Thanks for joining us.

Hi there. Thanks so much for tuning in. I am excited to introduce you to today's guest, Eli

Harwood. Eli is the author of the new book, Raising Securely Attached Kids, using connection-focused

parenting to create confidence, empathy, and resilience. I think there are a lot of misconceptions

and misunderstandings of what attachment means from a parenting perspective.

I absolutely loved Eli's book.

In a world where we're always in a hurry and trying to summarize complex information,

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