The Aberdeen Costello Program starring Bud Aberdeen and Lou Costello brought to you by

Campbell, the cigarette of costlier, properly aged tobacco.

The Aberdeen Costello Program, with a modern rhythm of will on for Daddy's Orchestra,

Irish Adrian, a singing star Connie Hayne, and spotlighting that chunky chubby little

charub who went caught rubbing floor polish on his uncle Arty Stebans head because he heard

it was good for wood, calmly said, I'm a bad boy!

Costello, we bought this gas station four days ago, are you listening to me?

We bought this gas station four days ago, and you promised to do half the work.

You've got Lana Turner's car up there on the grease rack. Why aren't you greasing it?

Because Lana Turner's car makes me awfully nervous.

Oh, how could Lana Turner's car make you nervous?

Well, this is the first time I've ever been close to her chest.

Look, they'll be after her car in a minute.

Now, get it off that hydraulic waste and take it easy, please.

Okay, okay, all right.

Anybody want to buy a squatty Chevrolet?

You idiot, now look what you've done.

Do you realize that Ms. Turner can sue you for damages?

She'll be for damage.

How much more damage does she want?

No, look at the car!

Oh, you dummy. She can press a suit against you.

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