You think if you would just love them enough that they'll change or you can maybe heal that part of them and they'll stop hurting you, but you're actually just an enabler.

Welcome to the one you feed.

Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.

And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.

We tend to add negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear.

We see what we don't have instead of what we do.

We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit.

But it's not just about thinking, our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.

This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Hi, it's Bethany Frankel. My time on the Real Housewives of New York is a few years behind me. And now I'm ready to put the real back into the Real Housewives.

That's where my new podcast ReWives comes in. This isn't your typical ReWatch podcast. I'm bringing on unexpected thought leaders and celebrities to give their take on the chaos.

In my first episode, I dig into the scary island, Rooney Episode with Elizabeth Moss. It's one of my favorite shows I've ever done, so don't miss it.

Listen to ReWives with Bethany Frankel on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Rachel Krants, one of three founding editors of Bustle, and she's the recipient of the Peabody Award, the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights International Radio Award, the investigative reporters and editors' radio award, and the Edward R. Murrow Award for her work as an investigative reporter with Why Are Media.

Rachel is also the host of Help Existing, a new interview podcast offering help with different aspects of existence, and the author of the book discussed on this episode, Open, an uncensored memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy.

Hi, Rachel. Welcome to the show. Hi. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, I'm excited to have you on. We're going to be discussing your book called Open, an uncensored memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy.

But before we do that, let's start like we always do with the parable. In the parable, there is a grandparent who's talking with a grandchild, and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.

One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear.

And the grandchild stops and thinks about it for seconds and says, well, which one wins? And the grandparent says the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you and your life and in the work that you do.

Well, you know, it makes me think actually of not the two wolves, but are two closest genetic relatives, chimpanzees and bonobos, which are actually very representative of the same parables.

So chimpanzees, more people know about, they're the less endangered species. They're actually, despite being adorable, patriarchal, violent, can wage warfare, there's sexual assault, all these things.

Then there's our other closest genetic relative, even a slight percentage more closely related to us, bonobos, much less studied and well-known, partially because they're very endangered.

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