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Meaningful People

R' Tzadok Katz : The Shidduch Lie Nobody Wants to Admit

Meaningful People

Meaningful Minute

Education, Judaism, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement

4.82K Ratings

🗓️ 6 June 2026

⏱️ 85 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of the Meaningful People Podcast, Nachi Gordon sits down with Rabbi Tzadok Katz, a shadchan with over 23 years of experience, for one of the most honest and entertaining conversations about shidduchim you'll ever hear. From speed dating and picture sharing to the stigma facing working boys and the pressure that's been built into the system, Rabbi Katz pulls no punches about what's actually broken, and what's working better than people think.

The conversation covers everything from how technology has completely transformed the shadchan's job, to why girls are maturing faster than boys and what needs to change, to the halacha of sharing information and how buried details may be behind most early divorces. Rabbi Katz also shares his philosophy on excitement, readiness, and why "getting the job done" is more complicated than it sounds. Whether you're a single, working with singles, or just fascinated by how the system actually works behind the scenes, this episode is a must-listen.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Everyone's favorite topic, Shadokim.

0:02.0

Who built the system?

0:03.0

It evolved by itself.

0:04.0

Ah, come on, that's not a good answer.

0:05.0

Are you said?

0:06.0

If there's one thing that magic wand you can change and adapt across the spectrum of the entire system, what would it be? Personally, I'm not a big fan of speed dating. It took three hours and made it until six minutes. I think that you're hurting a lot of the girls and a lot of the boys that messes up your brain. brain. I'll tell you one thing which I think has to change dramatically. A good from

0:22.1

working boy should be accepted as Lachatheedl. You and a lot of the boys that messes up your brain. I'll tell you one thing which I think has to change dramatically.

0:20.9

A good from working boy should be accepted as lechah tchidhilo. You're getting not just a guy in that's second class. You're getting a first-rate guy that's working. It eats me up inside because I see how the stigma makes a difference. Do you deal with boys that are staying in Yeshiva because of Shedakhim? Yeah, I think so. You should tell him you're playing a dangerous game right now.

0:37.1

Because if this is not who you are, she will see right through you.

0:39.5

It's a really hard decision because at the end of day, there is a real part that a lot of girls will say yes to him. It's a real Ashkafa question. My side, I could do a better Shadakh if I'm in a Shihih, even if I'm not really... It's just not honest though. Is there a lot of dishonesty in your field of work?

0:58.4

This episode is sponsored by PZ deals never ever pay full price again. Download the

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I don't know Amazon you're going to head to the PZ deals app and you're going to get the best prices yes you can save 20 30 40 maybe 50% on certain items

1:16.6

why would you pay full price well you don't have to when you have the pz deals app so down on that right

1:22.0

now this episode guys is everyone's favorite top should do him and me and r and our Sadoqat's get into it big time.

1:30.2

Deep into the weeds of this topic. Are people being honest in Shadohm? Are these resumes

1:35.3

real? Are people maybe staying in Yashiva just to say their Yashiva because they'll get a better

1:41.3

Shadok? Wow. A lot of topics lot of topics even speed dating speed dating a good

1:46.4

thing is it good for us we need to go for six minutes make a decision your whole life right there i don't

1:50.2

know he chimes in on that and way way more again rubekats comes from the lakewood system he sets

1:58.3

up a lot of the bmg boy so that's his perspective and it was quite an interesting one and i really appreciate him coming on the show this episode is also sponsored by kohl al-habad pushka app so download at the pushka app right now 95 days in a row i'm giving sedaka on the push cap my friends and it's not about the amount you give it could be a dollar two dollars $2, whatever it is. It's the frequency in which you give.

2:17.8

So go ahead, pushka.c, forward slash meaningful download the Kolokabhpushka app. Give Suddaka every single day. Those big moments, the small moments, always be giving. A big thank you to Jimmy J. For sponsoring this episode of Meaningful People. An important episode. Thank you so much for all you do for KlauSrol.

...

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