r/Storiesaboutkevin He Thinks All Chinese People are Black

rSlash

rSlash Reads Reddit

Comedy

4.9 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 15 March 2022

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

r/Storiesaboutkevin Are you ready for stories about some of the DUMBEST people to ever walk the earth? These people are so dumb that they couldn't figure out how to pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom. For example, one Kevin thinks that all Chinese people are black, and another person thinks that the sun makes noise, which causes the "summer noise." How dumb can you be?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to our slash stories about Kevin, where a Kevin thinks that all Chinese people are black people.
0:06.8	Our next reddit post is from off brand firehawk. So I have this guy at work who's clearly a Kevin.
0:13.1	Some background, I work at a small cafe. My boss is a big Caucasian man and married to a lovely Chinese woman.
0:20.0	They have two kids, Patrick, 25-year-old man, and Sarah, a 17-year-old woman, and they both work in the cafe too.
0:27.2	They're all clearly Asian and Patrick did the job interview with Kevin.
0:32.5	One day I'm working with my boss in Kevin. As my boss is serving customers, Kevin and I have a casual chat about the whole corona crisis.
0:40.8	Kevin decided that this is the moment he's been waiting for and goes on this huge racist rant about how the filthy Chinese people caused this pandemic,
0:50.7	and that we would be better off without all these split-eyed R words. Meanwhile, my boss walked up behind Kevin and heard the entire rant.
1:00.7	My boss asked him as sincerely as possible if he truly believed that all Chinese people are better off dead.
1:07.4	Kevin, completely forgetting that my boss has Chinese kids and a Chinese wife turns around and says,
1:14.6	yes, finally someone who understands. My boss then asked if this includes Patrick and Sarah.
1:21.6	Kevin proceeds to say the most glorious thing that I've ever witnessed.
1:26.4	What? No, I have nothing against black people. I just can't stand Chinese folk. I can't even be around them without smelling rice.
1:37.3	I stare at him and almost whisper to him, you know Patrick and Sarah are Chinese, right? And that your boss is married to a Chinese woman?
1:47.7	Kevin goes pale. My boss sent Kevin home and told him to come back after closing to have a little chat.
1:55.6	Kevin got fired. I uh,
2:01.3	on a whole subreddit about stupid people, this guy is especially stupid. I was completely thrown for a loop.
2:10.9	When he called the half-Asian kids black, I did not see that one coming.
2:14.8	Our next reddit post is from Savile Fraudder. I met this Kevin while interning at a non-profit organization.
2:20.8	Kevin interned at the Archives Department and once Summer was coming to an end,
2:25.6	he decided he would get a permanent job there no matter the cost.
2:29.6	This led to several hair-brained schemes and unsuccessful attempts to show how good of an employee he could be.
	...

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