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r/Offmychest I Poo'd on my Parents' Dinner Table

rSlash

rSlash Reads Reddit

Comedy

4.910.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2026

⏱️ 14 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

0:00 Intro 0:09 Confession 4:24 Humbled 6:04 Gift 7:56 Fart 9:20 Role play 11:08 Poo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Changes in sexual performance are more common than most people realize, and support doesn't need to feel awkward. With MedExpress, everything happens privately online. Start by completing a short consultation reviewed by UK registered clinicians. If eligible, treatment is delivered discreetly to your home, with ongoing support whenever you need it. You're not alone in this. Visit medexpress.com.

0:21.8

com.

0:21.8

com to learn more.

0:25.5

I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

0:28.9

Wow, wow, wow.

0:30.0

Second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy?

0:33.3

Oh, God.

0:34.6

Substitution, courtesy of paddy-power embarrassing Eddie

0:37.0

makes way for sensible Samuel. Cool, that was close. You might not always pick the right starter, but your sub can still deliver, because with Paddy's super sub, your bet rolls over to the player coming on. Paddy Power. Valid on selected leagues and markets only. Prematch and in-play bets on qualifying player outcome selections only. Tis and exclusions apply. 18 plus scumeralware. Welcome to R.Sash off my chest, where O.P.'s husband likes to strangle baby bunnies with his bare

1:01.0

hands. Our next Reddit post is from Suspicious. My husband's confession made me faint, and now I don't

1:07.9

know what to do. I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I have two children under the age of three with my husband, who's 30.

1:13.6

I made a terrible decision of marrying out of obligation.

1:17.9

We got married only after knowing each other for less than a few months.

1:21.6

He was severely depressed when we got together and can be very abrasive.

1:26.2

After I gave birth to our firstborn, I thought it was

1:28.8

just my hormones combined with how abrasive he could be and the childhood trauma of mine that I felt

1:33.7

like I could never leave our baby alone with him. I didn't think that he would do anything intentionally,

1:38.6

but he becomes stressed easily and accidents with someone so small can be fatal. I wasn't doing well at all. I only have him,

1:46.9

and because of that, I didn't have anyone to rely on. When I went to get an IUD put in, I found out

1:52.8

that I was pregnant again, which was bittersweet. I would take daily walks with my baby while I

1:58.2

was pregnant with my second baby, and one time my husband

2:01.4

decided to join me.

...

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