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rSlash

r/Offmychest I Almost Killed My Husband with a B*** Plug

rSlash

rSlash Reads Reddit

Comedy

4.910.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 November 2024

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

0:00 Intro 0:07 My son 2:53 Family tea 8:38 Cheater 10:44 Swing 15:49 Comment 15:55 Finances Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:03.0

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0:06.9

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0:09.3

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0:13.9

So get serious about selling and get Shopify today.

0:16.9

Sign up for a £1 per month trial period at Shopify.com.com slash special offer, or lowercase.

0:23.1

That's Shopify.com slash special offer.

0:26.4

Welcome to R slash off my chest, where OP knocks out her husband with a butt plug.

0:33.0

Our next Reddit post is from Ill Economics.

0:35.3

All right, so picture this.

0:37.0

It's the mid-90s, I'm a middle schooler,

0:39.5

and pranking my friends is practically my hobby. One day, I was hanging out with a couple of my buddies,

0:45.1

let's call him Derek, Jamie, and Sam. We were riding bikes after school, just goofing around,

0:50.5

when Derek suggested that we make a quick stop by his place so he could feed the dog.

0:55.1

I had read about a genius prank in Mad Magazine, and suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted to try.

1:02.5

The prank was a classic. You lift the toilet tank lid, position the fill hose just right

1:07.8

so it sprays water at the person who flushes it. Since the water doesn't fill the tank, the float bulb won't rise, and the water keeps spraying

1:15.3

until someone turns it off or fixes the hose.

1:18.1

It was foolproof, or so I thought.

1:21.3

As we get close to Derek's house, I put on my best desperate act.

1:25.4

Man, I really need to use the bathroom, I said, pretending to squirm.

1:30.0

Derek told me no problem.

...

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