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I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow.

Second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy? Oh, God. Substitution, courtesy of Paddy Power, embarrassing Eddie, makes way for sensible Samuel. Cool, that was close. You might not always pick the right starter, but your sub can still deliver. Because with Paddy's super sub, your bet rolls over to the player coming on. Paddy Power. Valid on selected leagues and markets only. Pre-match and in-play bets on qualifying player

outcome selections only. T's and Clusions apply. 18 plus scummelware.com. Welcome to

R-slash best of Reddit or updates, where a witch casts evil spells on OPE because of a loaf

of bread. Our next Reddit post is from Swordfish Efficient. So I live in a duplex,

and my neighbor, Linda, is this 50-something-year-old woman who's really into witchcraft, crystals,

moon water, the whole deal. I don't care. She's harmless. Or she was. About a month ago,

she came over ranting that her sourdough starter died overnight,

and she could feel my energy was bad that day. I laughed because it's just bread goo. I told her

maybe it was just mold or she forgot to feed it. A big mistake. Ever since, she's convinced that I

hexed her kitchen. She started doing these loud cleansing rituals in our shared front yard at like

3 a.m. Burning sage, chanting in what I think is bad Spanish, and sprinkling mystery liquid around my plants. One morning, I found my basil

covered in glitter. Last week, she escalated. I came home and there was a raw chicken,

not even package, just a raw, slimy chicken sitting in the middle of my welcome mat with a note

taped to it that said the curse

...